


Lost and Found

by Small_Tatoes



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Metaverse (Persona 5), Alternate Universe - Teachers, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, M/M, Misunderstandings, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-14 09:35:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 34,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28918458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Small_Tatoes/pseuds/Small_Tatoes
Summary: Novel. Ren Amamiya is certainly novel if nothing else. A rushed hire, all for a professional jack of all trades who teaches three courses, electives with no common thread. Ren remains an enigma, and while most of the faculty finds the shroud of mystery to be intriguing, Goro knows the newcomer is more than suspicious. All he needs is concrete evidence.-------High school History teacher Goro Akechi wants nothing more than to live his life and ensure the continued success of his pride and joy, the school’s theatre department.Enter Ren Amamiya, a talented new teacher, quickly adored by staff and students alike. However Goro isn’t convinced. It was bad enough when the annoying newbie is assigned to shadow his homeroom for the school year, but when Ren squeaks his way into the director’s chair with him, Goro has to come to grips with sharing the spotlight.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 2
Kudos: 62
Collections: Goro Big Bang 2020





	1. Fall

**Author's Note:**

> Hi and welcome to my Goro Big Bang Piece! You can find the art for the story done by the lovely Indigo_1008 here, and also in the story.  
> I hope you enjoy!

**_Friday, August 21st_ **

“Knock knock.” Goro jolts from his thoughts just in time to watch his visitor’s foolishly redundant hand gesture. 

With an irreverent amount of energy for any time before 7, the latest thorn-in-his-side moseys across their now _shared_ homeroom to lean against Goro’s solid wood desk. He chooses not to say anything, where there is silence, Ren Amamiya will fill it. 

“Good morning Mr. Akechi, I hope you're in the mood for more.” Ren’s sincerely cheerful look beams ever brighter as he brandishes a familiar cardboard caddy with 3 to-go cups of coffee. 

“Again? You shouldn’t have.” _Really. You didn’t need to._ “However, I will always accept coffee at this hour.” Goro makes sure to feign just enough civility to maintain his reputation, by no means approaching the outrageous zeal of his cohort, who happily pulls one of the cups out and sets it down on the crowded wooden desk. 

“It's no problem. Hm.. I’ve still got one more delivery to make” Mr. Amamiya glances at his remaining two cups briefly before returning his smiling gaze to Goro. “I’ll be back before you know it!” As if that is the concern.

“Please don’t rush, you still have 45 minutes until the first bell. Unless you are planning a visit to Ms. Takamaki, in which case you will be 15 minutes late.” Ren laughs at the low hanging fruit Goro knows he presented.

“No, I’m gonna hand this off to the Doc. Special delivery from her pops.” With no further explanation, Goro soon finds himself once again in silence. The emptiness does little to soothe his persistently looming headache while giving his brain the space to run rampant. With the start of a new school year came all sorts of distractions to consider and lessons to plan. Despite all that, the thing that is yet to stop gnawing at Goro’s mind was Demiurge Academy’s newest faculty member. 

From his charming button downs and floppy dark curls to his winning smiles and thick glasses, Ren Amamiya has everyone fooled. Goro knows a fake when he sees one, he’s been acting his whole life and can smell the lies a mile off. It is despicable to take advantage of the blind optimism of the masses and their tendency to take things at face value. 

Yes. Goro Akechi is a hypocrite. 

His ability to - _pretend to_ \- smile through most things is a weapon he’s kept sharp (a side effect of a less than gentle upbringing). Provided they are kept at an arm's length, he can be courteous and relatively genial with almost anyone. However, these are unprecedented circumstances, and never before has he been forced to share a space with and mentor someone he decidedly dislikes and distrusts.

Before the first school bell rang on the first day, _Ren_ had buddied himself up to the entire faculty, save Goro. Surely one of the many fast friends the newbie had charmed could double up with him. Really, anyone but the handsome, well-dressed history teacher with a chip on his shoulder. 

It was as good as a death sentence. Goro would have loved to protest, but alas, when one Haru Okumura tells you to do something in these halls, there is little choice but to comply.

The idea of spending 20 minutes with _that man_ , first thing in the morning, every day, for the next 8 months was nightmarish. 

The worst kind of dream to come to life. 

Goro didn't even notice the trickle of students entering his classroom until one greeted him plainly. Looking around he sees groups of two or three chattering quietly. It's still quite early, and he is grateful that the excitement of Friday hasn’t completely settled in yet. He returns the greeting and finally breaks free from his thoughts long enough to read one paragraph before one pain in the ass returns.

“Hello again, Mr. Akechi.” The prodigal son has returned, two coffee cups poorer than he left.

“I see you made it, Mr. Amamiya.” Goro doesn’t look away from his book (on principle). 

“Sure you won’t call me Mr. R?” The exaggerated pout in Ren’s voice stands the hair on the back of Goro’s neck on end.

“Quite sure.” He replies, exhaustion in his words. “I won’t be referring to you with such an unprofessional title. Ask Ms.Takamaki, she can attest.” This is the 5th day in a row Goro has repeated those same phrases; he can feel his spirit dwindling with each repetition. 

The monotony is broken by a flood of students, all freshmen by the look of it. Goro muses to himself that fresh blood must be magnetic as he watches Ren be engulfed in the gaggle of new high schoolers. 

His quiet morning is gone. His haven invaded.

Goro had accomplished nothing starting the moment Ren arrived, and now his room has fallen into disarray by the same catalyst. He looks on, face unchanging, skin crawling, temper roiling as his classroom is overrun with a surplus of hormonal teens.

Ren shooed them away with surprising efficiency, but by the time he returns his gaze to Akechi, the damage has been done. The brunette teacher is irritated beyond recognition behind his façade, but he can tell it’s not _really_ hidden from the way conversations tapered off amongst his homeroom students.

“Ah sorry about that.” Ren’s body language communicates shame, his hand swept to grasp the base of his neck, face slightly flushed, as it should be. “It's just because I’m new. The excitement will wear off soon.” There is nothing but goodwill and sincerity in his tone, but Goro is sure they both know it was a lie. 

By the time the bell chimes that morning, signaling the start of the first Friday of the school year, Goro can confirm 2 things beyond a shadow of a doubt:

  1. Ren Amamiya is a threat
  2. This year will significantly shorten his life



The new teacher is full of shit. Goro felt it the moment he laid eyes on him, but now it’s an established fact. 

Ren Amamiya _will_ be the death of him.

**_Friday, August 28th_ **

Ms. Haru Okumura, Headmistress at Demiurge Academy, is a passionate and capable person. As much as she and Goro don't see eye to eye (and they really don't), he can’t help but respect her. Along with that recognition came the knowledge that when she _suggests_ all teachers attend the annual welcome back party, an innocent smile on her face, it is not optional.

Luckily, as far as school sponsored events are concerned, this one is relatively painless. Essentially, the faculty adjourns in the scarcely decorated cafeteria for a small catered dinner to kick off the new academic year. The entire cafeteria is open seating, which is why Goro is seated as far as possible from where Haru preaches. 

“I’m bored...” The slumped-over woman to his right mumbles. Her posture is terrible and her attire often… _aggressively casual,_ but Dr. Futaba Sakura is good company. “Well, guess I’m glad I’ve got this!” She quietly declares as she pulls a switch lite out of her backpack and resumes whatever game she was probably playing during lunch. Goro appreciates her taciturnity and cognitive aptitude, it provides him with a sense of kinship, even if they differ so thoroughly.

“Futaba, is it truly wise to do that while Ms.Okumura is still addressing us?” The young art teacher sitting across from them turns over his shoulder to whisper, betraying a splatter of orange paint on his angular cheekbone.

“I _never_ claimed to be wise. I’m a high int, low wis build. Thats just another reason I don’t go out much.” Futaba replies, flopping further over her game. 

Polite applause scatters through the cavernous room, and Goro joins as if he knows why. Most likely, the Headmistress is done lecturing, which means they are that much closer to being fed. 

Say what you will about her (and Goro does), Haru has good taste, and is quite generous when it comes to catering at her functions. The smell of rich Italian food wafts through the linoleum tiled lunch hall, and frankly, Goro is famished.

As everyone stands to line up for their food with Pavlovian efficiency, Goro is mentally mapping out a seating chart, plotting the course of least resistance. It is unfortunate, he laments, Goro hasn’t caught up with Ann in such a long time, but she’s mingling with Ren. And while he isn’t as horrible to be around as Goro originally feared, his _homeroom buddy_ is still positively draining. He would much rather continue in his current company.

“Do you want me to grab you something while I’m up?” Goro asks Futaba, securing her companionship for the evening.

“Garlic bread. So much garlic bread. And maybe lil a ‘ghetti? As a treat.” Goro nods and stands to go retrieve their fare. 

“MORE BREAD THAN ‘GHETTI.” Futaba shouts not a minute later, desperation thick in her voice, despite Goro being only a few steps away. He doesn’t turn around or acknowledge that her plea was aimed at him, he knows she's not looking up anymore anyway. Instead he shoulders up to Ann, who is a bit ahead of him in line.

“Hey there stranger.” Goro greets the blonde, paired with a small hip bump.

“Oh hey Goro, how are you! I see you everyday and I still miss you!” Ann reaches up, poised to pinch his cheeks, but Goro swats her hand away playfully with the back of his own. 

“I’m doing well. Busy. About to be busier.” Goro knew there were risks involved when he approached Ann, and the subject of that apprehension is quick to ingratiate himself in their conversation.

“Hi Goro!” Ren offers his greetings keenly, as if that enthusiasm would be enough to distract from the casual use of his name. Goro detests navigating convention and titles based on situational aptness, but more than that, he loathes unsolicited informality. Ann must sense the strain as well, he sees her jaw become tense. 

“Ren.” Goro offers his terse acknowledgement through pleasantly gritted teeth. Either this bespectacled man has never met a room he can read, or he just doesn’t _care_. Goro’s money is on the latter, as Ren has more than proven his social prowess. 

Just to spite him, Goro says nothing more, passing the proverbial torch of small talk or _whatever_ to Ann and Ren. As if they didn’t have it monogrammed already. 

With a carefree smile and gently wrinkled eyes, Ren moves on after only a moment of hesitation. 

“I heard you say you were about to be busy, anything exciting?” If this excitable man-child thinks that talking about how slammed Goro will be by October is the topic of choice, maybe he can’t read the room. 

“I’m chair of the theatre department here.” Something about Ren smothers the enthusiastic over-sharer inside of Goro. A small relief.

“Oh?” Ren asks, ever so innocently, as Ann’s face falls. She is painfully aware of how Goro can get when it comes to theatre, and consequently she is extremely well versed in making sure the topic doesn’t come up. Generally, Goro does not know how to stop gushing about his baby; Lucky for her, this is not one of those times.

“Yes. We have two shows during the school year and one over the summer.” He almost feels guilty for how reductive he is, however, they are fast approaching the food, and Goro is going to walk away as soon as is almost-polite.

“Wow, Goro. Usually you have a lot more to say about it.” Ann goads. “No mention of how you made it to theatre fest last year? Or the shows for this year? How talented the kids are? How much work it is? ” She dons a mocking pout aimed at him.

“Will you just keep going if I let you?” Goro halts her heckling. 

“You’ve provided more than enough ammunition.” Ann nudges him fondly with an elbow. 

It feels as if they have been trudging towards their oasis for an eternity, but the plates are finally in reach, and Goro’s exit from the conversation could not be better choreographed. He acquires a tray and helps himself, sure to include a precarious tower of garlic bread bordered with a moat of ‘ghetti. Goro has never been one for sculpting, but he might just count this as artistic expression.

The history teacher returns to find Yusuke is in the midst of enthusiastically demolishing a piece of lasagna, a Pollock of sorts in his wake. The blue toned man eagerly swallows his mouthful, obviously glad that someone other than Futaba is present again, someone who might actually make eye contact or acknowledge his mad ramblings.

“Goro, how have the first weeks back treated you? If I recall correctly, you have a lot going on behind the scenes at this time of year.” Yusuke is a bit eccentric, as Goro finds art teachers are contractually obligated to be. He is fastidious, and often obsessive to a degree when it comes to his work. Yusuke’s meticulous attention to detail extends to shroud his friends and loved ones, though otherwise he is rather oblivious. 

“Ah, yes Yusuke, you are correct.” Goro loathes few things more than having to retell stories or repeat himself, so he oft basks in the glow of his friend’s selective memory. “It has been an...irregular few weeks thus far, if only because I’m still not accustomed to Mr. Amamiya being everywhere I turn.” 

It _is_ odd, at least a bit. The school is small, certainly, but almost any time he leaves his classroom, Goro catches a glimpse of the raven. Sometimes the sightings are mutual, but more often than not, Ren is facing away. 

If he were in one of his mystery novels, he would say that it is no coincidence, but this is a high school, not a train heist.

Not that Goro would give Ren the time of day in any case. 

“Do you know why he was hired? I wasn’t aware we had any vacancies, let alone offered a psychology course.” Goro inquires of his cohorts, finally unloading the concerning amount of garlic saturated starches in front of his senior (in experience only).

“Nyeheheh” Futaba puts away her crossing animals for a moment, gracing the rest of the table with no additional attention, instead shifting her focus to plowing bread into her gob.

“I i a bi swange” she chokes out, then gulps down her far too big of a bite. “I said, it is a bit strange. I mean, it's like he speedran the hiring process. Psych is in the science department, so just approval for the course alone should have taken months of red tape with my full involvement. Haru only brought it up to me a week before announcing the whole thing.

“I’m department chair, so she needed my endorsement to hire. Ren’s certainly qualified and he’s nice enough, so it doesn’t bother me. Plus, Haru vetted him so it wasn’t really a choice. I could have vetoed it, but I doubt she would have let me without a fight.” 

Futaba pauses to stab a meatball. “He’s smart. Smarter than he lets on. It makes sense that we hired him, but the why and what for are unclear. I don’t really mind since he's competent. The hiring process is a joke anyway.” she shrugs, glancing at Ren’s table across the room. “Plus he’s cheap entertainment.” 

Novel. Ren Amamiya is certainly novel if nothing else. A rushed hire, all for a professional jack of all trades who teaches three courses, all electives with no common thread. Ren remains an enigma, and while most of the faculty finds the shroud of mystery to be intriguing, Goro knows the newcomer is more than suspicious. All he needs is concrete evidence.

“I find Ren to be quite fascinating. After discovering my captivation with crustaceans, he began to pepper in bewitching tidbits about them into our conversations. 

"Did you know Lobsters eat voraciously after molting, and often consume their own recently vacated shells to hasten the hardening of the new one? Quite curious. Nature's enchantress.” Yusuke’s tender smile doesn’t match the absurd words spilling from his mouth, which isn’t unusual, but jarring nonetheless. 

Goro can tell from that the man across from him is completely adrift amongst fantasies of twirling arthropods, any additional feedback on the newest teacher lost in the tide. 

“What about you?” Futaba poses, “You’ve never been much for gossip, Goro. Why are you so interested?” 

A lesser man would have done a spit take directly onto the artist facing him. Goro Akechi, however, is strong enough to choke back his unfortunately timed mouthful of food.

“Excuse me?!” He shoots up from his seat, both hands flat on the table in front of him. A hush falls upon the crowd, most looking over and around shoulders to find out what was amiss. Goro gives his most abashed smile at his unintended spectators as he slides back onto the bench. 

“I know I didn’t stutter, Futaba. We can ask the audience if you would like.” Goro was not _interested_ in _Ren Amamiya._ The mere suggestion was preposterous. 

“You heard me.” Futaba leaned forward, chin framed by her petite hands. “I’m not saying that you wanna bone him. You just seem very _inquisitive._ ” She is right about at least one thing, Goro isn’t usually one to ‘dish the hot goss,’ but there's a first time for everything.

“My inquiries are driven solely by the fact that I have to spend every morning with this person. It's a fact seeking mission, in your terms.” Nothing more, nothing less. 

“In that case, you should just ask him directly.” Yusuke offers. “You have a surplus of time together, do you not?” Not a trace of mocking in his voice.

“He has a great point.” Futaba agrees, sardonically clapping a weak hand on Goro’s back. 

“Yes he does.” He concedes, drawing their conversation to an abrupt end. 

It's not every day that Yusuke outwits Goro, and it is very rarely deliberate, but this is one of those times. 

Now, is Goro going to confront Ren? Ask him about his questionable employment? Get some wacky facts about salt water creatures? 

Absolutely not.

**_Wednesday, September 16th_ **

When you work at a high school, there is a 99.9% chance you will get roped into doing some kind of extracurricular, and Goro is not outside of that likelihood. However, when he first began to traipse these geometric halls, the theatre department was practically dead in the water. 

A single glance at Goro could deduce that he had been an active participant in theatre when he was younger, and he has never been shy about it being a highlight of his high school experience. With his hand-eye coordination and general physical prowess, he could have _easily_ joined any athletic team, but the choices bored him, and the company left him unimpressed and unstimulated. 

The stage was different. 

It was no secret that the history teacher hates to share the spotlight, but it's always been more than that. Goro can still vividly remember the first time he stepped onto the stage. He was far from the lead, just another piece of dancing tableware in a castle, but he _thrived_. At one point he might have pursued the passion, but the reality of, well, reality, disillusioned him before he got too far.

Directing was somehow even better. He still got that rush, that spike of adrenaline when the curtain drew, but it was sandwiched between layers of sheer pride. 

Goro looks on from the lip of the stage at the pool of about 35 students seated in the otherwise empty auditorium. He is pleased with the turnout, it’s just an interest meeting for the fall show, which generally attracts less attention than the spring musical. A light shiver runs down his spine as he surveys their eyes, and can find a hunger in most. There were several familiar faces, vibrating at the idea of being able to fill the shoes of recent graduates. 

Orientation meetings are required for all after-school activities. Goro hates them, quite honestly. They feel forced and unnatural, but he is obligated to speak about responsibility and the time commitment that they are agreeing to (should they be cast), so he does. About halfway through his spiel, the doors squeak open and close once, but he is too busy maintaining Natural and Relaxed Eye-Contact to pay it any mind.

Goro hops from the stage and begins to move up the aisle, passing a small stack of handouts to each row. He tucks a loose piece of his chestnut hair behind his ear as he returns to his place on the stage. Goro’s eyes sweep across the room, studying reactions and waiting for any questions. What he doesn’t expect to see is a pair of grey eyes belonging to one Ren Amamiya watching him intently from the back of the theatre. 

As usual, Goro is more than happy to ignore him and continue his sermon. 

He fields a few rouge questions before sending them on their way. As the stream of students flow out of the auditorium, Goro turns from the seats to organize and gather his things before following suit. 

Nothing stops him. 

He turns back to an empty theater.

It's unnerving.

Where did Ren go? Why didn’t he say anything? What was he doing there in the first place? Goro didn’t know where to start, but found himself unable to ignore the fact that Ren’s absence was at least mildly troubling to him.

Whatever. It's good Ren left. He would have just annoyed Goro and poked and prodded at his worn down patience. 

Try as he might, Goro couldn’t stop hypothesizing about why Ren left like he did.

*

As he sits in his _thankfully_ empty classroom the next morning, nursing bad coffee and enjoying a book, a cheery greeting slaps him from his sense of peace.

“Good morning Mr. Akechi!” Goro chills with the sudden realization that Ren isn’t the worst person to start his day with. Haru Okumura’s presence somehow overshadows Ren’s, who is standing behind her, despite her being a good head shorter.

“Ms. Okumura, to what do I owe this pleasure? Or to who, I suppose?” His tone is civil and maybe a bit stiff, but it's early. 

“I just had a favor to ask you.” She beamed. A _favor_ , of course. As if he could say no.

“What is it?” Dread pools in his stomach at the sheer excitement in her face. While it is yet to be plainly stated, Goro knows that the headmistress reciprocates his distaste for her. 

“Well I’ve heard you mention in the past how much work managing the theatre department is for one person,” No. Goro’s blood ran cold. “so I’d like to introduce your new co-director.” 

Haru probably gestures to the man hovering behind her, but Goro doesn’t need to see that to understand. He doesn’t need to be a mind reader to pin all the pieces together. That's why Ren was at his meeting. That's why he left. He probably left to go pull his ever-suspicious strings with Okumura. 

Was the faculty not enough?  
Were the students not enough?  
Is the whole school not enough for Ren Amamiya?  
Is that why he has to take the one thing that Goro holds precious, the one thing that makes him feel confident and proud of where he is in life, the one thing that makes him feel special, the one place where he is wanted, _needed._

As Goro’s eyes meet Ren’s smug, slimy, smiling face, he burns with a hatred he hasn’t felt since he left home so many years ago.

Goro knows 2 things beyond a shadow of a doubt:

  1. Ren Amamiya had officially declared war on him
  2. This was going to be the worst year of his life



**Monday, September 14th**

Over the years of his relatively short tenure, Goro has cultivated the ability to maximize his productivity, one that requires his full and complete attention. 

Which apparently, is too much to ask for.

Goro’s head swivels to the door when he hears a knock against the glass pane. He hardly needs to guess who it is. Anyone would be dismayed from knocking on a very closed door, discouraged from entering through said door by the lights being off. Or, _almost_ anyone.

Ren Amamiya was persistent, Goro would give him that. The concept of someone not buying into his bullshit must sting, because since their (Brief? Stunted? Awkward?) conversation at the welcome back event, he had been especially stubborn. 

Resigned, the history teacher motions for his visitor to enter. Only after Ren shuts the door behind him does Goro notice the armful of papers he's lugging in. He gulps back air and dread with sudden clarity-

“Hey Goro, I noticed that we have the same free period, and I was wondering if I could set up camp in here! I work better when the people around me are being productive, and I figured you would be the perfect candidate.” He chuckles lightly, a rattley _thunk_ echoing as his paperwork hits a desk. 

When Ren's eyes search Goro’s stony face for a response, shallow panic sets in.

_No. Absolutely not. Get out and don’t return._

“As long as you don’t disturb me, you may stay.” Saying no has never been something Goro was skilled in, nor was dealing with whatever moping a rejection might bring. It was the lesser of two evils, he tells himself. In the same breath he knows he's just a coward.

“Thanks. I promise I’ll be good!” Ren flashes a big grin and brings a single finger to his lips. With that vow hanging stale in the air, the younger man situates himself across the three metal desks directly facing Goro. He is quick to dive into his work and though he chose to sit in his line of sight, Ren hasn’t glanced up at Goro once. 

To be completely fair, Ren _is_ being quiet, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t still a distraction.

As he grades, the enigma bops along to the music in his ears. It's a toss up, Goro isn’t sure what is bothering him most of all; it could be the faint sound of unintelligible music, lyrics that Ren is mouthing, but not speaking. Or possibly the occasional _squeak_ of the chair under an unsurprisingly fidgety teacher. 

Neither of which are really awful enough reasons to banish Ren. 

Goro knows there must be a way, something non confrontational, to get the newbie to leave him alone. Otherwise one of them would be left crying, and it wouldn’t be him. 

For some reason, the thought of tears staining Ren’s cheekbones isn’t unpleasant. Goro imagines the slight shake of slender shoulders and the tremble of uncertain fingers roughly tugging at thick black hair. Upon the realization that the hands Goro envisions are gloved and his own, he ducks out of that fantasy, mildly disturbed.

Had he really become so sadistic? Ren certainly brings out the worst in him.

As the younger teacher informs him that he will be heading back to his own classroom, Goro only parts with a vacant nod in response.

**Thursday, September 24th**

“-and I told her, it's just a game.” Goro heard Ann’s voice as he entered the teacher’s lounge, ready to eat lunch and stop thinking. He didn’t need to hear the beginning of the story to piece together that this was not the correct response to her conversation partner at the time. Surveying the faces of her audience, namely Yusuke and Sumire, conveyed a pretty grim prognosis. 

“So of course she threw a volleyball at my face! In retrospect I totally deserved it, but it was my first week here, Shiho didn’t need to be so cruel from the get go.”

“As if you wanted her to coddle you.” Goro murmurs under his breath, just loud enough to be audible at the table he pulled a chair to.

“Hey!” Ann blushed from her ears down, reflexively smacking Goro with the back of her hand. 

“Wow Ann, I never imagined you two met like that. It's kind of cute if you overlook all the aggression.” Sumire smiles sweetly. Could she even smile disingenuously? If so, Goro had never witnessed it.

Sumire Yoshizawa joined the staff the year following Goro. As the music teacher, she also oversaw the choir and band. Despite the years they’ve spent working together, whenever Goro imagines her singing, she always tweets like a finch. Sumire isn't extraordinary or special in any way, but that sort of thing stopped mattering to him a few years ago. She had become like a younger sister to him, whenever she enters a room, Goro feels his protective instincts flare. 

“It's certainly poetic, perhaps prophetic?” Yusuke comments placidly.

“Guys lets save this discussion for after school please.” Ann stabs aimlessly and violently at the fruit-topped salad in front of her.

“Then what would you rather discuss, if your love life is off the table.” As the words fall from his lips, Goro receives a _look_ from Ann, a smug grin that tells him he will regret asking. 

“Fine. Let's talk about what you and Ren. What is your deal with him?” Maybe Goro would start eating in his classroom. No, he would still be too easy to locate. Perhaps he could implore Shiho to hide him in her office? Unlikely, but he should still stop by sometime soon-

“Goro!” His head snaps up. Right, not the time to get lost in the thoughts of escape.

“Apologies, I was simply thinking about how much I don’t want to discuss this.” Goro gives his professional smile, but really should be saving his stamina, this crowd knows how he is, he can drop the act. “What makes you think I have a problem with him? I do, but I’d like your insight.”

“Uhhh every time I see you two talking, there's like 4 feet between you, your left eyebrow twitches slightly, and I can see you clenching and unclenching your fists. To name a few. I can keep going-”

“Not necessary, I already admitted you were correct. Wow you are more observant than I give you credit for, impressive.”

Ann snorts a laugh “Yeah no. Ren told me all that. You’re not subtle.” _Shit._

“So you’ve been talking about me?” 

“I hope that doesn’t surprise you.”

“It doesn't.” Goro exhales. It is at least partly true, Ann has always been a harmless gossip, even in high school, but he really didn’t think that Ren was the type, guess he was somehow giving the man too much credit. Goro looks at the plain clock above the door. There are only about 7 minutes remaining in the lunch period, if he can bullshit for 5 minutes, he’ll be able to duck out without issue. 

“If you are expecting a well thought out reason with supporting evidence and a thesis, you will be disappointed.” He tucked a piece of chestnut hair behind his ear. “It's most likely due to the circumstances. You know how much I hate sharing attention-”

“And space and information and food” Ann interrupts him.

“Do you actually want an answer?” 

“Lips zipped!” She tosses away an invisible key.

Another exhale leaves his slightly parted lips “Anyway, as Ann detailed, I’m territorial and he is not only in that space, he is far more social and popular than I would ever want to be.”

“Ah I see. It's jealousy.” Yusuke says as if commenting on the weather, or what he thought about eating for breakfast.

“Oh Goro, don’t be jealous!” Sumire says encouragingly, the lack of ill intent slightly grating. “You have your own appeal, plenty of students admire you.”

“I’m NOT jealous.” He isn’t. Truly, he doesn’t envy Ren Amamiya in the least. Goro just wishes he had his own space, and that he didn’t have to constantly hear about how great ‘Mr. R’ is. “I simply can’t escape him and it's tiring. That's all.” 

No one at the table has anything to add, and they sit in silence for a moment. Only Sumire seems bothered, if her fidgeting is any indication, then again she's never been good at sitting still.

“Ah.” Yusuke pierces the silence calmly. “This weekend I was hoping to break in a new set of oils I acquired. Might I convince any of you to model? I will provide the most inexpensive wine I can locate.” Goro doesn’t think the quality of the wine is a real selling point, but who is he to say no to both free wine and weekend plans?

“I think I might have some time.” He offers.

“Yeah I’m free on Saturday!” Ann raises her hand, fork and all.

“Oh I don’t think I will be able to. My sister is visiting from out of town, so I’ll be busy.” Sumire’s ever-present smile spread bigger and she seemed to radiate joy. 

“I don’t believe I knew you had a sister.” Goro muses.

“Yes! We’re twins actually!” Sumire pulls out a chunky purple phone and quickly pulls up a photo of them. “Her name is Kasumi. She's amazing.” The awe in her voice warms Goro as he looks at the phone being passed around the table. Kasumi looks like the spitting image of Sumire, her hair is a bit darker, her eyes a bit lighter, but there was no way to deny the resemblance. 

The red-head’s excitement is contagious and Goro is almost smiling as he opens his mouth to inquire further. His thoughts are interrupted by the intercom buzzing. While he had been so eager to escape their interrogation, now that freedom is being handed to him, it feels premature.

Goro fends off his mild disappointment with the promise of future plans. “Should I expect to hear further details from you on your artistic venture this weekend?”

“Yes I will reach out to you both.” Yusuke replies with a slight bow of his head.

As Goro weaves his way through the sea of students, he feels a lightness that his heart has been lacking without his knowledge. 

**Tuesday, October 6th**

The auditorium is the same cavernous room as always, but on days like today, there is an extra layer of tension swimming through the air. Goro arrives immediately after 8th period, setting up shop in the 5th row, his personal favorite, armed with a notepad and a water bottle. 

Auditions are today, and he is about to get an idea of what he had to work with this year--in more ways than one. As if summoned from the depths of hell itself, Goro is shaken from his thoughts by a boisterous laugh behind the closed doors. He clicks his tongue with disdain as Ren opens the door to join him.

“A big day, huh?” A genuine enough smile hangs from the other teacher's face, and Goro quickly averts his eyes.

“Yes. Quite heartbreaking as well.”

“What do you mean?” Ren asks.

“There are always students who don’t make the cut.” A memory flips through his head, a cold rush of shame and sadness. “It hurts.” 

Ren gives an understanding nod. “That's probably a good thing.”

Brown hair whips against his face as Goro turns to face Ren, an incredulous look on his face. “In what way.” 

“Not that you have to pick and choose, but that you feel something about it. Rejection is never easy, but the fact that you care enough to feel the pain of the students is kind of incredible.” Ren weaves his way to the seat two down from Goro’s. “I know we didn’t ever discuss this after I took this position on,” a scoff involuntarily escapes his lips, eliciting a brief pause in Ren’s train of thought “but I’m not completely inexperienced in showbiz, or whatever you call it.”

Goro isn’t sure if that comes as a surprise. While he doubted Ren had much interest in the program itself, the younger teacher is also a public speaking instructor, so it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility. 

Inexperience is not the reason that Goro is pissed off by the situation.

“I know how it feels to be on the other side.” Ren continues. “Most of the directors I worked with were burnt out and bitter. They took personal grudges with parents out on their kids. It was a shame.”

That was a frightening thought. Goro’s relationship with his parents was rocky at best, and his horrid father was outspoken in the worst ways. 

“I can’t even imagine being so petty or detached.” The thought alone made him shiver. 

Ren simply smiles. “I can’t either. You’re opinionated and strong-willed, but you’re also passionate and fair. Well. For the most part.” Goro’s brows drew together, but he’d let that one slide. “So. Um. What's the set-up here.” 

“Of course. Just a moment.” Goro rises from his seat and makes his way to the exit. After slipping out of the doors he quickly pulls two pieces of paper from the nearby bulletin board before returning. Ren looks more confused than expected, his head tilted slightly. Like a god damn puppy. 

“They each signed up for a time slot.” He places the papers between the two of them, quickly jotting down the first few students’ names, leaving a few lines for notes between each. “They will come in, one by one, and they should have prepared a monologue. We listen, take notes, rinse and repeat. The real work comes after.” 

Ren nods. “Seems straightforward. Are we ready?” 

Goro looks at his phone for the time, 2:57, 3 minutes to the first time slot. “Just about.” He quickly stretches his arms, preparing for several hours of sitting in borderline uncomfortable seats. Without looking at the list, Goro knows who signed up for the first slot. “Would you like to go grab Mitsuru?” A more experienced actress with a decent shot at a lead role. “She always likes to be first.” Ren’s eyes consult the paper to double-check before giving a single, deliberate, nod.

The hours ticked by, as dozens of students came and went. Finally the last hopeful, a first year named Marie, leaves the stage after her audition with a shrug. Goro drops his head to rest on the back of the seat in front of him, defeated. He flips his face to look at Ren, flattening his cheek in the process. 

“Alright. It's been a long day, but we should do this while it's still fresh.” The words are a groan as they escape, slightly muffled by his position. Ren’s eyes reflect a similar exhaustion, but he agrees before looking down to consult his notes. 

They go back and forth, and for once, Goro is grateful to have another person to consult. It's an arduous process, but it goes rather quickly. Ren has insights that he hadn’t considered, and is more than willing to listen to Goro’s counterpoints. 

A couple hours later they have a cast, and are ready to post the list. 

While he would never admit it to anyone, Ren and himself worked rather well together. However, that was an uncomfortable thought, so he chose not to process it, instead focusing on the relief of having completed casting as he walked into the chilly October air.

**Saturday, October 31st**

If one had been watching closely enough during the week leading up to the 31st of October, they might have been able to detect the correlation between the proximity of the weekend and the frequency at which Goro was vibrating. 

Halloween is the best day of the year in Goro’s (entirely correct) opinion, and he has always made a point to share the excitement. Of course for him, this takes the form of a few cute window clings in the shapes of ghosts and pumpkins and the occasional distribution of fun-sized candy bars. He had to remain sensible, especially this year.

When Ren came across Halloween decorations in their homeroom that first day he put them up, he made no attempts to mask his excitement, much to Goro’s dismay. He couldn’t help but curl his lip in distaste upon knowledge that the excitement he felt was shared by his nemesis. 

Ren obviously did not reciprocate this feeling, as once he was armed with the knowledge of Goro’s fondness for all things spooky, his enthusiasm soared to new heights. Each day was a new trial.

_Bad Halloween puns_

_Bad Silly Pranks_

_Good Pumpkin treats_

_Still spending free periods with Goro_

Despite all of Goro’s efforts to ignore him, Ren was as unwilling to take a hint as ever. As the date grew near, he became more and more insistent, and Goro found himself even more eager for October’s conclusion than ever before. 

*

This year, Halloween blessedly fell on a weekend, and while he is a business professional, Goro would never say no to some spooky partying. Well, party might be a generous term, considering there would be less than 10 guests, all teachers. 

Goro is happily situated on a chaise lounge, a tasteful piece with dark woods and neutral floral patterning, a blanket thrown over his legs, and a half-empty glass of deep red wine swirling in his hand, the rim coated in his lipstick. He is running on autopilot, a compliment to his current company, and maybe the wine.

“I just don’t understand why Christmas gets two months, and Halloween barely gets one.” He says to the slender back facing him as he takes a small sip from his glass “If I wanted to deal with consumerist propaganda, I’d go to church.”

“Goro, you're ignoring the fact that Halloween is def a consumer holiday.” Ann dabs a loaded sponge against her cheek rhythmically, evening out her already near-flawless complexion. “You have some oddly specific rose-colored glasses here.”

Goro hums in consideration through a long sip before shrugging in surrender. “I can’t fault your logic, but at least Halloween has a good color scheme. I don’t need Yusuke’s expertise to tell you that red and green are not the best combo.” 

“The colors are complimentary.” He sees her reflection roll its blue eyes, along with a fond shake of the head. Ann fingers through her hair at the roots, pleading with the golden locks for volume. When it seems fruitless, she spins around on the small bench facing her vanity and meets Goro’s gaze. “Anyway...are you about ready to go?” 

Ready to go is an understatement. Goro is acquainted with several people deeming themselves Halloween enthusiasts, but none can hold a torch to the Halloween Master herself, Futaba Sakura. Her decorations were always top notch, and while she hid the ability quite well most of the year, she knew how to throw a party. His excitement was in good company, and when the topic had come up in the lounge the other day, she quipped “I spend 6 months of the year preparing for this, and the other 6 recovering.”

His finger traces the outline of the rectangular invite sitting on the cold marble table in front of him. Goro looks at the invitation sitting on the coffee table in front of him, it has the aesthetic balance of a 2nd graders valentines. Glittery black bats and big googly eyes adorn orange construction paper. The first year he was invited, the invitation actually had words on it, but apparently, it was implied at this point.

“I'm glad you decided to go this year, all things considered.” Ann says to Goro with a small smile.

His eyebrows drew closer together. “What do you mean? It's Halloween at Futabas, of course I’m going.” He hadn’t shut up about it all week. 

“Yeah, but I know how you feel about Ren.” Oh right. Forgot about that one. He probably received an invitation that had more than three words on it. A peculiar thing to feel jealous over. 

“To be perfectly honest, I forgot he was invited.” Goro stands from the chaise, shifting his focus to his own reflection. “This might be the only time that his attendance wouldn’t deter me. I do appreciate the reminder, it provides me a chance to steel myself.”

“Oh my god, Goro you are so dramatic.” Ann pushes out through light, chiming laughter. “Ren is nice! I’ve known him for years, and if you just give him a chance-”

“Any opportunity he had for a ‘chance’” Goro interrupted, “went right out the window when he decided to use Haru to step on my toes.” He punctuates his point with a gleaming, fake smile, sending a chill up his friend’s spine.

There had been a few rehearsals since then, Ren hadn’t misbehaved or tried to steal the spotlight yet. Actually, he’d been quite respectful and almost helpful, maybe once or twice. That was the only thing keeping Goro Sane and only just barely. 

“Did you ask him why he did that?” Of course Ann would ask that. It's the reasonable, mature, adult thing to do. Any logical person would do so immediately, prevent the festering of negative emotions, so of course he hadn’t. He was also avoiding spending any significant amount of one on one time with the other man. Which was a challenge considering their morning arrangements.

“Can we drop this?” Goro’s evasive lack of a reply answered louder than intended.

“OMG Goro, you haven’t brought it up? You have to ask him tonight.” Ann briefly broke eye-contact with her reflection to give him a look of awe tinged disappointment.

“I don’t think that's a good idea. For several reasons.” Most of which being he doesn’t want to, and that he should probably be sober for that kind of conversation, not that it will ever happen.

“Fine. I won’t push you, but you won’t be able to avoid him all night.” Ann almost certainly does not mean that as a challenge, but Goro is more than willing to take it as one. Instead of voicing this, he just drains his glass. 

There has always been something familial in the way they bicker, its warming, but that also might be the wine. “Shall we?” He gestures towards her foyer as he presses the confirmation button for a rideshare.

*

There isn’t a doubt in Goro’s mind that Futaba has a lucrative side-hustle. No teacher's salary could afford the modern loft that she lives in. The sleek, angular exterior and sheer size are no longer a shock to him, but the way it is decorated this year is. 

It isn't...traditionally spooky or halloween-y, per say, but it is extravagant. If his brain squints, he can see the spirit of the holiday, but in an almost abstract, familiar way. Cobwebs and fake spiders are scattered abound, but clearly their efforts went into the dark colored fabrics and laces draped from every surface imaginable. 

Yusuke’s influence is palpable.

“Whats up, little man!” A high pitched voice yells the minute one foot crosses the threshold. “And the pretty lady! A treat.” Futaba slides over to her guests and links her arms with both of theirs. “I’m psyched as hell if you couldn’t tell.” She tugs them in with a surprising amount of strength, as if they need coercing. 

Only after reaching the kitchen does Goro fully take in Futaba’s costume. Every other year she makes a new cosplay wholecloth, but it’s an off year, so she's taking it easy. Her limbs look warm in long yellow fabric layered under short blue overalls, topped off with a yellow, googly-eye beanie. 

Goro sneers in her direction. “A minion? Really?” Futaba snickers mischievously.

“Oh hello, pleased to see you made it, Goro.” A placid tone fills his ears with comfort. “You and Ann never do anything halfway, huh?” Makoto leaves her dignified post near the pretzel bowl to get a better look at their costumes.

He and Ann are especially proud of their costumes this year, both together and separate. _The Cat That Ate The Canary;_ Ann their lovely feline, and Goro their dashing bird. Of course Ann is _definitely_ not eating him, so it’s a bit of a stretch, but they are just as pleased. 

Makoto is reliably the least enthusiastic about this sort of shindig out of the younger staff, but she always shows up anyway, sans costume. She fiddles with the braid in her hair absently “Have you seen Ren’s costume? I think you might enjoy it. I know Futaba did, and I’m pretty sure all her neighbors could hear as well.” 

“No, we only just arrived. Where is he?” Goro sees an opportunity: pretend to be interested, acquire his location and avoid that area. 

“Oh, actually.” When Makoto gets on her tiptoes to look around him, Goro knows that he miscalculated. When Makoto’s hand shoots up to wave as she calls for Ren, Goro is a statue, and his brain is in a wind tunnel. 

At least Ren does not come alone. A (hopefully) purposely disheveled Yusuke follows close on his heels. Goro has no idea what his costume is intended to be, but it's dramatic? He looks like the halloween decor, personified, or perhaps a car mechanic’s used towel. 

Yusuke is almost distracting enough to keep his attention away from Ren, who is dressed as 90% of Featherman Red, just without the helmet. Goro refuses to outwardly acknowledge how well that costume fits him, personality-wise as well as physically. He is freaking out on the inside at least.

It checks out that Futaba lost her mind, and is still losing her mind, as she approaches again, this time dragging a brightly blushing Sumire wearing a bumblebee dress and some antennae on a headband. Maybe the two of them color coordinated?

When Ren asks Makoto what she needed, for the first time in his life, Goro feels thankful for Ryuji Sakamoto. He's unsure of whether or not the gym teacher has even made it into the building before letting out a resounding “What’s bonkin, people!” 

It is not likely to be his most convincing act, leaving the comfort of his close friends to go welcome Ryuji. It certainly surprises the latter, judging from the clear confusion on his face. 

“Oh hey, Goro.” Ryuji greets, pulling himself together just a smidge.

That’s fine, Goro is relieved that he won't get the wrong idea, thinking that they are _good friends_ or something asinine like that. “Don’t worry, I just needed an excuse to...leave a conversation.” Ryuji nods as if that was a close second on his list of hypothetical scenarios. 

“So uh...” The gym teacher turned…homeless pirate(?) hesitates. “Should we go back into the room ya just left?”

“Mmmm...I suppose we must.” Goro gestures towards the rest of the group. “After you.” Ryuji saunters down the hall and into the room and all he hears is the echoes of indistinct shouting. 

By the time he checks his phone about 3 times, and walks back to the party, Futaba is ushering everyone into another part of the loft. “Alright my sexy party people, grab some goods and get out of my kitchen! If you're lucky, you might just find some chairs that you can sit in.” Everyone helps themselves to a variable amount of food and bev, Makoto abstains. 

Goro purposely hangs back a bit, to marvel at Halloween as a concept, and enjoy watching a bumblebee and whatever Yusuke thinks he is share a loveseat. He smiles fondly as they try to tempt Futaba’s cat, Morgana, to come get pats.

“Nobody feed the demon baby! He is not starving, no matter how much he tries to convince you otherwise.” Morgana looks at his owner as if he understands true betrayal before scurrying away to hide once again. “Little dummy will be back when our judgement is compromised.” Futaba mutters, knowing that battle is already lost.

While he _is_ good at playing the part, Goro is not as extroverted as he lets on, and the act grows exhausting. As everyone starts a new round of Fibbage, he takes the natural break to make a break to nature. 

The sun has long since set on Futaba’s back porch, but there are some purple twinkle lights casting light from where they were artfully thrown into trees and bushes. Goro takes a seat on her bench swing, noting the thick cushiony layer of cottony webbing draped over it. He closes his eyes and takes a deep inhale. The fall air is crisp and the light breeze knocks a quick shiver through his body.

“Cold?” A deep voice asks from behind, startling Goro’s eyes open. “I’d offer you an extra layer, but then I’d probably get arrested.” He generously humors the approaching Featherman with a brief chuckle, he was funny enough to have earned that.

Ren’s face is lightly flushed from alcohol, and Goro is grateful for his own restraint. On the other hand, sobriety is a great way to ensure he will remember everything about tonight. Goro will be able to recall with startling clarity his fleeting lust over the color red, his momentary desire, recognizing Ren as physically attractive and finding pride in the way he has not so subtly watched Goro throughout the evening. There is a 90% chance that shame will find him in the morning, but right now, he can’t find the energy to chide the peanut gallery within.

After a quick glance at his phone “It’ll be November soon.” Ren notes. 

The banality of it all strikes Goro as he rolls his eyes. “Yes. Time keeps moving, and soon we’ll all be dead.” Tides of immaturity and pettiness roll off the brunette, as he maintains a smug look aimed at ren.

“All the more reason to enjoy it while you can.” Ren challenges Goro’s smugness with a face that is equally flirty and haughty. Involuntarily, the curl of his lips and the power in his eyes are added to the _Ren is Sexy_ list. Rather than acknowledge that he even _has_ that list, Goro looks away, admitting defeat. So what if the other man took that as a win, the score was already so skewed in Goro’s favor.

Right?

No. Goro has never been a quitter. “Are you trying to imply that I don’t?” And maybe he was enjoying himself a bit. As long as Ren didn’t notice.

Ren laughs, surprised _for some reason_ at Goro’s impertinence “I think I might be the least qualified person to answer that.” His tone is...wistful? 

“Why?”

“Because you hate me.” Definitely wistful.

Well he has a point. What is Goro supposed to say? Deny it? Tell him not to take it personally? Acknowledge it? 

“You sound awfully morose.” He murmurs instead.

Ren seems just as conflicted on how to proceed. Goro watches attentively as the superhero in front of him chugs the rest of his drink with determination and places his empty cup on a nearby table with care. 

“You never even gave me a chance.” Ren’s has a smoldering grin again, laced with what Goro deems unfounded confidence.

“I don’t believe I am required to.” For some reason, Goro’s pulse is quickening, as if he's racing someone. It feels familiar. It feels good. 

“I’m not a homework assignment.”

“You _are_ a home _room_ assignment. One I didn’t ask for.”

“I plan to change that.” Ren winks and Goro realizes this feels more like flirting than fighting, and the man in red seems very encouraged.

“Oh yeah?” Goro says with a smile, the sentiment predictably stubborn but surprisingly provocative. In that moment, his mind is all but fixated on the flames of rivalry Ren set alight beneath him. 

Mercifully, as Ren steps forward and opens his mouth again, a head of blonde curls pokes out onto the porch, and they all freeze, eyes wide. 

“Am I interrupting something?” Ann asks, unsure. To be fair, she most likely expected that Goro would be strangling her other friend by now, and was not prepared to enter on whatever weird interaction that was.

Naturally, Goro recovers quite smoothly and stands up to return to the party. “Not at all, dear. I was headed back soon anyway.” 

Ann follows shortly behind him “Hey what was that tension about? I didn’t know if you wanted to strangle him or make out with him.” His brain supplies _Would both be so bad?_ but he has enough awareness to gulp that thought down.

“We were discussing my dislike of him.” Enough of an answer that she wouldn’t find anything suspicious. Ann nods but doesn’t press further.

He glances through the door he just entered and sees Ren, turned to face him, but totally frozen, a confused expression adorning his _begrudgingly sexy_ face. Goro is digging himself a pretty deep grave, it would seem.

*

After several hours of ‘partying’ people slowly began to disperse. If one can look past the unfortunately numerous times Ren caught Goro looking at him, especially since their _encounter_ , the party went fairly smoothly. Of course, Ren's costume was to blame for the ogling, Featherman red had such a bright suit, it just magnetized everyone's attention. Goro assures himself it has nothing to do with the fact that it is tighter than it is attention grabbing. 

Almost everyone has left already, the only remaining guests are him, Sumire and Ren. Goro is alone, outside again, but this time in the front, waiting on the ride he ordered. He hears the front door close and approaching footsteps. Goro deduces they are far too quiet to be Futaba, but feel too big to be Sumire.

A nondescript car pulls up in the street fronting Futaba’s abode, and Goro breathes a sigh of relief. Before he can take a step forward, he feels a (large) warm hand gently grip his shoulder. 

“I’ll see you Monday.” Ren whispers into his ears before walking away. Goro wants to scream. Instead he moves towards the car, looking back to glare daggers at his personal space invader.

As the car pulls away, Goro lets his forehead fall into his hands, exhausted. He had been careless, but if he can glean something of value, maybe it will have been worth it.

  1. Ren Amamiya has great taste ( _in anime)_
  2. Ren Amamiya has terrible taste ( _in men)_



Goro hopes he’s being narcissistic. 


	2. Winter

**Wednesday, November 4th**

The leaves have fallen, trees left bare, dried up along with the well within Goro that provides with fucks to give.

Weeks have been passing quickly and without note recently; not that Goro is complaining, each week is a tick closer to having a homeroom to himself again. Although sharing their mornings is a cake walk compared to sharing the Director’s seat. Goro feels more like a divorcee with shared custody each day. 

Ren continues to bring coffee, and Goro forgets to refuse. It's unfortunately the best coffee he's ever had, not that he would tell the other teacher, let alone ask where he gets it.

Today the usual offering is not alone, Ren presents it alongside a little plastic baggie decorated with untidy hand-drawn stars and smiley faces. It's clear from where Goro is sitting (as far from Ren as his desk will allow), that there are several small cookies in the bag. 

“What are those?” He asks dryly with a raised brow. 

“Cookies! We’re making them in Home Ec today, so I practiced a bit last night and had some leftovers.” Ren’s bravado shrinks back a bit as he avoids eye-contact, shuffling his feet just a little bit. Suspicious. “I uh. I thought you might like some? I don’t know how you feel about sweets so if you don’t li-”

As the insecure drivel cascades from the baker’s mouth, even Goro feels pity. “Fine.” Goro swipes the bag from Ren’s outstretched arm. Anything to shut him up. 

“Ah well. Let me know how you like them!” Ren says with a grin and slightly flushed face. Why is he getting so worked up over this? It’s not as if he doesn’t give Goro coffee almost every day. Maybe he wasn’t feeling well. Chalk that up as another reason to steer clear.

Once homeroom is over and his homeroom buddy (rival? nemesis?) is gone, Goro slips one of the small, square cookies into his mouth. Of course it's delectable, Ren is the Home Ec teacher for crying out loud. Even still, the cookies are tender but solid and Goro can taste just a hint of almond, his favorite. 

As the metaphorical fireworks explode in his mouth, a trench in his stomach forms just thinking about having to thank Ren.

Things have been a smidge uncomfortable since the Halloween party. Goro didn’t dare speak more than 3 word phrases to the other man the following Monday, and Ren didn’t put up too much resistance. Apparently that grace has passed.

Every night since then, Goro finds himself gazing into nothingness, thinking about the implications of his not-quite-sober thoughts. While this might seem drastic to any outside parties, taking the time to (over)think things through has always been his most effective method to release himself from his ricocheting thoughts.

The issue was fairly simple, and while he had reached a pretty solid conclusion that previous weekend, his pride isn’t satisfied. How could Goro Akechi find his antithesis attractive? Of course logically speaking, he knew that finding someone physically attractive has no correlation with liking them as a person. 

Why is it so hard for him to stomach the idea that you don’t need to enjoy someone's company to imagine fucking their throat.

A choked cough evacuates his chest, from the coffee and shock of his own thoughts. Goro is almost disappointed when he is not struck down by a greater power.

As if beckoned back to life by a loud bell, Goro turns towards his first period class. His throat is still sore from hacking up coffee, and his face is probably burning, but his weird fixation on Ren should not influence the quality of his student’s education. 

Mental notes for later consideration:

  1. Ren might be trying to buy Goro’s affection through coffee and sweets
  2. Its not _not_ working



“Good morning everyone. Today we will be continuing our conversation on the bubonic plague and its influence on culture-”

**Saturday November 14th**

The winter wind is whipping against the thin, poorly insulated windows, a light dusting of snow coating the hard November soil. It's a Friday night, and only one thought is circulating through Goro’s brain. 

He looks to his left, sees blonde and warmth, to his right, and is washed with calming blue hues. Luckily, he is in a _relatively_ safe space, so he is able to voice said complaint. 

“Who the fuck chose Scrabble.”

Not that Goro isn’t incredibly good at the game, he is, but there is no better way to kill a party than making him more competitive than usual. 

“Ren.” A brightly manicured finger points at the inhabitant of the seat across from Goro. “You know Yusuke and I would never.” Ann’s voice doesn’t waver, she knows better than anyone how this will end. 

Of course it was him. Why is Goro even mildly shocked? 

“And you thought that was a good idea?” 

“He insisted.” Ann’s blue eyes roll, “Trust me, I tried to talk him down, but he’s just as stubborn as you!” 

“I’m right here.” Ren mutters from across the square kitchen table.

It's Game night @ Yusuke's (abbreviated as G@Y in non-work chats, much to the simultaneous chagrin and delight of Goro), something their eclectic host insists upon at least once a month. Usually the group is a bit larger, but Futaba has plans, and Sumire unconvincingly made something up when she heard they would be playing scrabble. 

“I don't think you want to do this.” Goro is very proud of his vocabulary, and reads books like water. He doesn’t lose at Scrabble. It just doesn’t happen. Sure, he gets _‘too into it’_ and no one ‘ _has any fun_ ’, but he wins, every time.

His warning isn’t a humble-brag, Goro doesn’t do humble, but just a glance at Ren confirms he took it as a dare. Fine. Goro crosses his arms across his chest.

“I think I do. I like a challenge,” He winks at Goro, much to the recipients’ disgust and Ann’s notice. “and I know how competitive you can be.” Ren leans back in his chair, bringing his hands to rest behind his head.

If Ren is under the laboring misapprehension that his opponent is bluffing, Goro would just have to prove him wrong. 

30 minutes into the game, Ann is fully engrossed with her phone, completely uninterested in the game. Yusuke is in his small kitchen, spending way too long creating a cheese plate of questionable quality. Ren is smirking at Goro, and in turn, Goro is surveying the battlegrounds. 

While technically, the other two have been ‘playing’, such rousing contributions as “CAT” and “BOOBS” acted as obstacles more than anything. Yusuke, through some divine intervention, was able to play “LOBSTER,” but he then stopped trying, his goal achieved. 

Goro has to be careful tonight. Whenever he taps into his competitive side, his antagonistic banter comes across more like sadistic flirting than anything, especially with such an enthusiastic target. It is a side of Goro that rarely surfaces, but Ren sure knows how to coax it out.

“QUILT” Goro says aloud as he places his tiles over a word multiplier, not bothering to mask his pride. Red eyes squint slightly to match Ren's leering.

A small grin climbs across Ren’s face as he plays “SELTZER,” building off Goro’s previous play. 

“Interesting choice. With those letters you could have easily played “RITZES” for 14 more points, but you sacrificed that opportunity to be petty, did you not?” 

“I guess sometimes I need to be reminded that it's not about the length of the word, but how you use it.” Ren gives a side eye to Goro that is unmistakably flirtatious, immediately sobering the brunette.

Yusuke returns over to the table, cheese plate delicately in tow. As he sets it down, Goro hesitantly studies the cacophony on a tray, but soon finds himself unable to form a proper conclusion. Avangeline, Yusuke’s unfortunate (little. yappy.) dog, bounds onto the table. She knocks several tiles off multiple stands and upsets the board completely before bolting out of the room as quickly as she came; the only evidence of her crimes white, wiry hairs. 

Goro sighs before bending over to pick some pieces from the ground. It comes to his attention that he is the only one trying to recover anything. Even Ren seems disinterested. 

“So you're done now?” He fires across the table.

“I already got what I wanted.” Ren’s smile grows more smug by the minute.

“You didn’t want to win?” What's the point in playing then? Of course ‘having fun’ and that bullshit, but winning is the _most_ fun. 

“Winning would have been a plus, but I think this is the most peaceful end result possible.” Ren reasons. He makes a good point as far as the end result is concerned, but something doesn’t check out. This man was so bent on playing this dumb game. So determined to get Goro fired up, just to leave him high and dry.

“What did you want so much then?” The other two in the room sink slightly into the background, Goro’s senses narrowing in on Ren. How could this back and forth make him more excited than Scrabble did?

“You want to know? Make me.” That cheeky bastard. Goro places his palms flat on the table to vault himself out of his seat. 

“You little--” He leans forward and grabs a fistful of Ren's collar, pulling the grinning man out of his own seat. Goro is glowering and whatever regretfully intense sensation Ren seems to light in him is smoldering. His grip is not gentle, but Ren’s eyes are more alight than he sees in school. Goro hates it. The fire within Ren is the only force that might be able to triumph over his own. 

“Guys, as much as I am digging being ankle deep in this weird sexual tension, if we don’t start doing something else soon, I’m going to die.” Ann interrupts, not really looking up from her phone, as if this is old news. Goro’s vice grip on Ren’s collar immediately breaks, along with his feverish heartbeats.

“Excuse me?” Goro protests, a bit too squeakily. Ann doesn’t say anything else, and Ren just laughs lightly before moving on.

“Ah,” Yusuke starts, ever the gracious host. “Ann, would you like to play Hungry Hungry Hippos with me?” And just like that, the fire returns to Goro’s eyes with a crack of his knuckles.

**Tuesday November 24th**

The snow had settled in for the season, much like the ever present shield of moisturizer on Goro’s skin. He hates the cold. He hates how his nose hurts and his skin gets dry and the wind whips across his face as he crosses the parking lot, running a few minutes behind his usual schedule. 

He sees from the hall that the light in his room is already on, so it's no surprise to find Ren is settled in his favorite desk, right across from Goro’s wooden one. 

With frigid fingertips, Goro makes a beeline to the warm cup of coffee beckoning for him. As soon as he strips his winter outerwear, he is on it with a magnetic force. It's somehow better this time, maybe compared to the cold? His lone audience member chuckles at the face Goro must have been making.

“Does it taste different?” Ren asks.

“Maybe? It’s better today, but I wasn’t sure if it was just because of how awful it is outside.” Goro doesn’t really know when he gained the ability to casually converse with Ren, but it certainly made things less awkward. He still doesn’t enjoy his company, per say, but his hatred is burning a little less brightly. 

“Sorry, I’ll rephrase, it should taste different. I used different beans today and added a bit of honey.” Wait a second. Goro paused, does that mean?

“Hold on, you make this coffee?” A nod. “This coffee. The coffee you bring almost every day?” There is no way. The time and effort that would take is incredible, admirable even. Not that he would ever admit that. 

“Usually. I used to work for Futaba’s dad in a small coffee shop, he's the real expert.” Ren shyly grabs the back of his neck, almost stifling a wide smile. “But I bought some of the equipment so I can usually make a decent cup at my apartment.” Goro was impressed. He had no idea that Ren was the person behind that delicious brew. It didn’t change anything, but it was a nice image.

“It's always had a nice flavor. You're quite skilled at this.” and although he’d never felt the need to say it before, the words “Ah, thank you.” Slip from his lips before he can stop them. Ren gets visibly flustered, and Goro can almost hear the gears turning in his head.

“Cut me off if this is off base, but-” 

Time freezes. No matter how this sentence ends, a rock of anxiety and anticipation had sunk in Goro’s tummy the minute Ren spoke. 

Logically, there was no doubt that he is off base, it doesn’t really matter what he has to say. Goro should probably cut him off now. It would be the best way to get the point across, and Ren would probably shut up--

On the other hand, the idea of not knowing what came next makes his skin crawl and his stomach knot. By letting Ren continue, he could satisfy his curiosity, but at the cost of his peace of mind. If the revelation of Ren making that coffee each morning felt akin to playing with fire, this is a live bomb he wants to detonate.

“Would you be at all interested in getting a drink sometime?” 

Stupid stupid stupid Goro. Should have cut him off. It is too late, of course, but the answer remained similar in spirit.

“No.” The words are coated in civil venom, an obviously fake smile on his face. Ren gives a disappointed nod before saying ‘ _something something blah Futaba something be right back’_ and leaves. 

Goro folds his head into his hands and lets out a groan that is probably a bit too loud. Some sentiments can never be taken back, and what Ren has confirmed to be interest of _some kind_ is branded into his brain. 

Best not to dwell, but if those feelings are the reason Ren forced himself onto his production team, Goro would not only be disappointed, but also mad. He’ll give Ren the benefit of the doubt for now, much to his own surprise. 

If only the inexplicable would leave him alone for a while.

**Thursday December 3rd**

There's a thick tide of tension hanging in the air. Goro knows how they feel, nerves rolling in and out, he's been in their shoes before. Opening night is the culmination of weeks of hard work, and when you're still a student, that can feel like an eternity.

It wouldn’t be an understatement to say that the reputation of their school’s theatre program skyrocketed following Goro’s rise into leadership, and he was reluctant to admit that it had only gotten better, now that he wasn’t doing everything on his own.

It's a tradition that no one still at the school started, that before each show the whole cast gathers around in a circle. They play music, the seniors discuss their experiences and the whole thing ends in a giant hokey-pokey. It's the first show of the year, so eyes aren’t nearly as wet as he knows they will be. 

Once the group has finally shaken the nerves into excitement and have found their places backstage, the countdown begins.

He and Ren sit in the sound booth, a room a quarter of the size of their homeroom situated behind the last row of seats, dead center. They both are sporting clunky black headsets connected to the stage, looping them in with the stage crew. 

With 15 minutes to go, all the final checks are finally completed. He and Ren spent several afternoons, during the break between the final bell and rehearsal, brainstorming ways to ensure the success of their show. They’ve done all they can at this point, but that doesn’t make them any less tense.

“It's fine Goro,” Ren whispers, his headset currently muted. “ They’ve worked hard and anything that happens is beyond your control.”

Somehow, Ren managed to hit the issue square on the head. “I know.” The audience continues at their dull roar, drowning out their quiet conversation. “If you haven't figured out that I’m a control-freak by now, there's no hope for you.” His eyes fall to the black binder open in front of him. The script is dog-eared and annotated to shit with blocking and direction notes. 

Ren laughs good-naturedly. “No worries there, that's been clear since I met you.” 

A crackle comes over the headset “Everyone is in places.” Naoto, their student director, stage manager and godsend, says quietly. Goro switches his headset on to thank them before lowering the house lights.

Much like a rambunctious kindergarten classroom, the audience falls quiet in the darkness. 

“And curtains.” Goro voice deep, yet quiet into the mic. His direction is followed, smoothly and slowly (just like he and Naoto had practiced endlessly). 

Students filed on and off the stage, and while Goro was giving them 130% of his attention, he had no idea how everything flew by so quickly. By the time intermission came around, he felt like he had been running a marathon. 

A glance to his side tells him that he wasn’t the only one pulled in, as Ren looks _enraptured_ to say the least. More than that, Goro can see a twinkle of pride in the way he fights his rising cheekbones. “They’re killing it. Really.” 

It's certainly not the most professional or enlightened review, but Goro can’t help but agree. His words fail him, however, and all he musters is a nod.

The show was a rousing success. It was the first of 6, but they were off to a great start, and the nerves had settled. After the standing ovation both the crowd and the show’s directors gave, the cast was lost in a sea of parents and friends. 

Every fiber of Goro’s being wanted to find each actor and congratulate them, but he wouldn’t be greedy, he would see them again to do the whole thing again. His enthusiasm was much better suited to encourage them before a lower energy show, like the Sunday matinee. 

Goro would rather be drawn and quartered than admit that the reassuring hand Ren places on his shoulder is welcome and almost calming. Instead he simply shrugs his co-director off to make his way backstage. 

**Sunday December 6th**

Goro is positive of one thing right now, his face is not properly expressing his pride for his cast and crew. As the 20 students excitedly chatter, the empty seat next to him pulls out. 

“Alright everyone, the party can start now!” Ren says once he has unwound the scarf from around his neck.

“Settle down guys, just a bit.” Goro says, unbothered. 30 eyes gradually turn to him. “You guys really did a great job this weekend. The show was incredible and you should all be so proud of yourselves. Order what you want and have fun, you've earned it.” His smile grows and is met with light cheers. 

After the last show, Goro loves to treat the students to something fun, and they had earned it. Today it was this silly burger joint. 

“I don’t know if I need to say this” Ren leans over slightly and whispers. “but I’m splitting the bill with you.” 

Goro paused. He wasn’t expecting that, nor had it even occurred to him. “Well I’m not going to refuse you, but why?” Goro could immediately tell that his response is unexpected from the outlandish look he receives. 

“It's pretty simple. These kids are great, and I want to reward them also. I’m a director too, it only seems fair.” Ren smiles and Goro actually believes his words.

“Good answer.” It is. If his reason had been related to his weird interest in Goro, that wouldn’t have been acceptable.

As they all order and receive their food, the invisible barrier between teacher and student is gently knocked on.

“Hey Mr.R” Yosuke asks “I was wondering why you wanted to join the theatre department.”

Ren flushes a little, just enough to make Goro stiffen up. It doesn’t escape the discerning gaze of several students. They smile mischievously at each other.

“Well I dabbled in theatre in high school, but mainly worked backstage. I’ve really missed the feeling of putting together a production since, and I figured that Mr.Akechi would be a great person to learn from.” It's a respectable answer, but obviously not what they were looking for.

“Hmmmm.” Chie pipes up, suspiciously. “Are you and Mr.Akechi good friends?”

Goro snorts involuntarily. “I wouldn’t say that.” Ren quickly speaks over the sound. “Mr.Akechi is kind enough to share his homeroom with me this year, and we have a lot of friends in common, that's all.”

“Oh don’t worry, I see you guys plenty during homeroom.” Yukiko says, staring Goro down. She is clever and quiet, a deadly combination, and the stage brings something out of her that he is both proud and scared of. “I can only imagine what happens outside of school.”

“Nothing.” Goro injects. “Mr. Amamiya and I do not ‘hang out’ outside of school. Sorry to disappoint.”

“Really guys. I know Mr. Akechi gets really intense during rehearsals, but he’s probably closer to the classroom in real life.” Ren laughs at his joke.

Goro gives an exaggerated ‘ha ha ha’ and rolls his eyes for the sake of his audience. 

Maybe he had been slightly unfair. Ren was annoying and pushy and too well-liked for Goro’s taste, but he had never dragged his unrequited feelings into this corner of their relationship. It's the least he can do, of course, but Ren was yet to earn the resentment Goro holds onto so desperately.

Ren was like water, and he had finally eroded just enough of Goro’s defenses to earn himself a chance. 

Goro blames the atmosphere, warm and soft around his students. He ordered a particularly good burger, which might have contributed as well. Or maybe it was sitting next to Ren as he effortlessly conversed with the team that he had become a quintessential part of. 

He could and would come up with endless excuses to himself, but the facts were clear in the end.

  1. Ren actually cares about the cast 
  2. Goro might not completely hate him.



**Saturday December 19th**

The cold sweat of a plastic cup is the only thing grounding Goro as he feels his back flush against a firm wood wall. Touch is the only sense he can trust right now, everything else is far too consumed by the similarly sized man unceremoniously pinning him against the glossy laminate paneling. 

Desperately Goro asks himself, how did this happen? 

It had been an innocuous evening, one fairly representative of any other year’s faculty holiday party. Another _Okumura optional_ event, but alcohol is provided and footed by the school, so it’s tolerable. 

While watching his colleagues drink isn’t exactly Goro’s idea of a ‘good time’ he was just so relieved to finally be done with Finals. 

Ren still hadn’t brought up his previous invitation, and Goro was more than happy to forget it happened. He didn’t stop bringing coffee, or behave less enthusiastically with the cast, so Goro assumed it was fine. In retrospect, maybe not.

Everyone was standing in clusters of 6 or 7 people around circular tables. Goro found his people with relative ease, his friends have always stood out in a crowd.

Futaba had been intently focused on eating a big slice of whatever was for dessert. It looked like red velvet layer cake, which Goro made a rapt note of.

“- and the way they treat Palm is really awful, I mean, the mangaka just changes her personality to whatever sounds good so she has no consistency.” Ann was on a warpath, but nothing coming out of her mouth held meaning to Goro.

“I asked if you were having fun at the party.” Ren says, brow furrowed, slightly concerned.

“Sorry, Shiho is making me watch some ‘Hunter ex Hunter’ show, and it's consumed my life.” 

“Don't worry.” Goro had piped up, attracting the attention of Ren. “Ann has the weirdest tendency to get worked up about anime when she's tipsy.”

“Oh, I guess that explains why on Halloween she kept talking to me about some anime lady stepping on her.” Ren mused to himself.

“Bishamon is not just some lady…” Ann’s tone indicated that she was more than willing to elaborate as she happily embarked on another tangent.

The evening had gone on without much of note, the 6 of them drank, snacked, and gabbed for a couple of hours, until Yusuke wandered off without saying anything. The logical assumption was that he needed to use the bathroom, but 30 minutes later, the bathroom was empty and the artist was still at large. 

No one had been terribly worried, Yusuke was notoriously unlucky, but he was also consistently flakey. Goro figured he was outside looking blankly at something, or maybe had gone to a different area and gotten distracted by an oddly shaped piece of bread. 

It had happened before and would no doubt happen again. 

However, 15 minutes later he decided that he had to look for his absent-minded friend, if only for the sake of his own conscience.

Ren insisted he accompany him ‘Just in case’ with a wink. 

In retrospect, that probably should have raised a red flag, but Goro is much more practiced at ignoring and dismissing Ren’s oddities than actually processing what he does.

He followed the black haired man to another room, this one empty, and probably not somewhere they were supposed to be. Goro peered out a window and, not seeing any sign of Yusuke, turned around to move to another room. His mouth was still open to say something as his body reacted to a predatory approach from Ren

Goro refused to break eye contact, but he did rapidly lose his ground. It was only when his head thunked unkindly against the wood that Goro finally closed his mouth, gritting his teeth. 

The brunette isn’t resisting, and hasn’t struggled at all. Somehow Ren hasn’t crossed enough boundaries to make Goro truly concerned. The other man isn’t touching him, Goro could easily push him back, or duck away under the arm extended against the wall. 

“Do you need something, Ren?” Goro stands straight, but purposefully casual, fighting to keep his tone even.

Ren’s face is just close enough for Goro to feel the dance of his breath as he speaks .“Yes, Goro. We need to talk. Not even you can deny that there are a few conversations that we need to finish.” A flurry of unfinished thoughts and interrupted moments easily confirm Ren’s sentiment. 

Goro indignantly crosses his arms. “And you needed to pin me to the wall for this?” 

“Each time I feel like I’m almost reaching you, you run away.” Ren’s face is steeled, but has a hint of that sadness Goro’s previous rejection elicited.

“Ever consider I don’t want to be reached?” 

“Absolutely. You are free to go, but I know you hate to say forfeit a challenge.” Damn brat has a point, but Goro isn't going to run away. Not yet, at least. 

“Is that what this is?” Goro rolls his eyes.

“Yes. It’s bait. It’s a trap. If you don’t want to have this conversation, you should go.” 

“What do you mean, _this_ conversation?” He feels a drop of condensation cascade down his fingers, reminding him of the cup he still firmly holds.

“I mean. I still want to talk about why you hate me, but also seem to enjoy arguing with me, I-”

“I do not enjoy arguing with you.” Goro juts his head forward, cutting Ren off and narrowing the distance between their heads.

“No?” Ren’s grin grows, as if he’s already won. “Then why are you smiling like that then!” Goro didn’t even notice the tension being held in his cheeks. His face quickly drops. “See! I just! I just. I want you to be honest with me. With yourself.”

Whatever drivel this man is spewing aside, Goro sure _isn’t_ having fun right now. The whole experience is raw and scratchy. 

“Are you kidding me? I am plenty honest with myself, Ren Amamiya. Brutally so. I know exactly what kind of insufferable I am. You’re not entitled to everyone’s affection. You don’t need mine, sorry to rob you of a complete set. Why do you so ardently refuse to leave me alone? Why did you take the only thing that matters from me?”

Ren’s free hand reaches to wipe a tear from Goro’s cheek he didn’t know had slipped out. The warmth of that hand catches him off guard. “That's what I want to talk about.” His voice is level and soft, but his eyes are determined. 

Goro’s rage is bubbling up and his eyes won’t stop stinging, Ren’s steady gaze only makes it more humiliating. Goro slaps his hand away. “Don’t touch me! You're doing an excellent job proving my point.”

Ren is abashed, but looks confused. The nerve. “What is your point?”

“You want to know why I hate you? You're so fake it makes me sick. It's painfully clear that you only care what I think because I’m the only one left in that school you don’t have obediently wrapped around your finger.”

“What?” Ren objects, indignation and confusion heavy in his tone. He sounds genuinely bewildered, but Goro refuses to flinch.

“I’m done.” Goro raises his arm to lift the one blocking his exit, knocking Ren off balance. He quickly recovers and turns to face Goro’s retreating form, grabbing his wrist.

“You said I’m free to go. Let. Me. Go.” Goro feels himself simmering, both with rage and tears. As he has always done, he leans into the former, miraculously keeping his eyes dry, harshly wrenching his hand free.

This time Ren doesn’t try to stop him. 

Goro doesn't look back.

This event has officially overstayed its welcome with Goro by the time he returns to the table with his friends and his coat. 

Yusuke asks him where he has been. 

The kindest response Goro can muster is seething silence. He grabs his coat and slams the restaurant door behind him. 


	3. Spring

**_Sunday January 3rd_ **

When Goro’s lids flutter open, it is just another Sunday in early January. While laying around all day is exactly what the doctor ordered, he has a to-do list that really needs tending to. 

Happy new year or something.

Despite any evidence to the contrary (should there be any), let the record show that Goro Akechi is _not_ a morning person. He wishes that the sparse birds would cease their infernal chirping, that the sun would lower the brightness just a hair, that the solid, warm weight reluctantly vacating his chest would just go back to purring contentedly. 

When he finally bares himself to the cold air of his bedroom, he feels a void in his stomach, which is his first problem. Goro is hungry. Of course this isn’t a surprise, he didn’t eat dinner last night. Not a great habit to get into, but it wasn’t really deliberate. 

His fluffy robe is as close to a portable bed he can get, so he wraps it around his shoulders and makes his way over to the kitchen. When he opens his fridge to find nothing but apricot jam and threateningly expired milk, resignation hits. Lack of shock doesn’t stop a record breaking sigh from exiting his body.

Mumbling to himself about planning better and food prep (a pipe dream, if Goro is honest with himself), he grabs his last baggie of fruit snacks from the cabinet and sits at the bar. His apartment isn’t terribly large, but he doesn’t need a lot of space. The kitchen is extremely cream-toned, with a horseshoe of decent counter space. 

Not that he uses it. 

He can’t cook. Not really. Not at all, actually.

After feasting on the unlucky bounty of 3 strawberries, 2 grapes, and 1 cherry gummy, he stands once again to fix himself the Worst Cup of Coffee in the World. Goro won’t sugar coat it, his instant coffee had never been ‘good’, not by a long shot, but it certainly tastes slightly worse with each time Ren brought him _his_ coffee. He would love to wake up to a cup of it sometime, if the implications weren’t so Ren-infused.

He tucks a piece of hair behind his ear as he shakes the raven-haired man from his thoughts, still uncomfortable with the concept of him. Goro will not be the first to admit he might have gotten a bit worked up at the christmas party, but he might be the second.

Goro drains the mug like a 20-something might throw back a drink that is way too strong; It hurts going down, hits him way too quickly, and tastes of regret. Coffee on an empty stomach provided him with some semblance of structure at least. Urgency might be more apt. Goro is on a time limit now, and if he doesn’t get food in him soon, he will have a second problem in the form of a horrific stomach ache.

When he returns to his room to put on real clothes and take off his portable blanket, he lingers by the corner of his bed, watching enviously as his cat sleeps soundly. His look of jealousy quickly shifts to one of love and he gives Loki’s soft fur a quick pat. The tortie makes a questioning chirp in response to the disruption before quickly returning to sleep. 

He dons his freshly washed athleisure outfit of choice, grabs his keys and several reusable bags. “Be good, little devil” He says lovingly to the black and orange blob still asleep on his mattress. Goro is ready to face the day. Or fake it until he is.

He knows each time he leaves his apartment, he could potentially run into a student or someone else he knows. This is why when he does run errands, he will either be in and out in 10 minutes, or prepared for the long-haul. Today, judging from the contents (or lack thereof) of his fridge, is the latter. 

While he doesn’t _want_ to run into any students, it's not the worst case scenario. As the sleepy teacher expertly weaves through the aisles of the Costco, somewhere between bread and batteries, he discovers a new worst case scenario.

Staring vacantly at a water filtering pitcher is Ren Amamiya. His dark hair is messier than usual, a feat in and of itself, and his black hoodie is visibly wrinkled. Goro has never seen him look so...flat? Dull? Dishevelled? Usually his enthusiasm boils over, but judging from the dark circles adorning his face, Ren is not rested, let alone zealous. 

After very obviously stopping dead in his tracks, the sound of cart wheels halting along with him, Goro swings his cart and goes back the way he came, grateful to dodge that bullet. He was not prepared to face him after the party. Not yet. 

He pauses momentarily to consult his grocery list, and it looks like his prime destination is with the frozen foods. 

As he weighs the benefits of the 5 different kinds of frozen pizzas, Goro learns that his slick escape was just delaying the inevitable, landing him with problem number three.

“Oh, Goro!” Ren’s eyes brighten just a bit, the empty, listless man from earlier long gone. Goro is exhausted just thinking about how much effort this facade must require. “I didn’t expect to see you here. Happy New Year!”

“Ah, Ren. Happy New Year. Don’t let me keep you from your original, not running into me plans.” Who needs a filter? Apparently, not hangry Goro. Ren kind of laughs, but it doesn’t sound _right_. 

“Have I not made it clear that my plans always have a Goro-shaped spot, ready and waiting.” 

Goro’s already forced smile blooms into a sneer, and he doesn’t feel like it's gonna go back any time soon. At least he’s already made his opinions painfully clear. He doesn’t lift his gaze from the cardboard box in his hands as he continues. “I saw you earlier, over by the kitchen stuff. You looked emotionally dead. It was the most tolerable I’ve ever seen you.” 

Goro looks over at Ren, who seems to be considering his words with more intent than necessary. “Are you saying that we could hang out if I was less enthusiastic?”

Goro snorts, loudly. “You sure are hard to discourage, aren’t you.” As someone who can be stubborn to a fault, he can respect his unrelenting spirit, but that isn’t the point. “In no way was I saying that. I find it quite difficult to imagine, as well.” 

Just then, Goro’s stomach decides that it wants to put in its two cents, and gurgles with a vengeance. Great. Ren laughs a bit, not taking the sound rejection he just received in stride. 

“Hungry?” Ren asks

“What possibly gave it away?” Goro replies coolly, his gut reminding him not very gently of the time bomb inside. A sharp shooting pain radiates around his midsection, he clutches it with a pained grimace.

“Are you okay?” The concern in Rens tone is obvious, and Goro feels his mood souring with each passing millisecond.

Nothing has ever frustrated him more than being seen as weak or piteous. 

“Does it look like-?” He cuts himself off. Lashing out has never been attractive, and certainly quite unprofessional. Ren may be willing to push that line, but that is his prerogative. Without meaning to, Goro had become complacent in the casual environment. He pulls in a quick, deep inhale. “It's nothing to worry about. Just an upset stomach.” 

“Have you eaten?” What was this? 20 questions? Goro leans on his cart, curling over the bar. 

“No. I didn’t have any food on hand.” He admits through gritted teeth. His tumtum will calm down, he knows his body well enough to be sure of that. “I’ll be fine, but-” 

Before Goro could even finish dismissing Ren, he was already gone. He had sprinted off towards the front of the store, cart all but abandoned. Only then does Goro look over at his coworker’s shopping cart, filled with booze and giant, ovular stuffed animals. 

He lifts one of the plushies up and squishes it effortlessly. _Soft. Good._ The cat-shaped blob in his hands is healing him, or maybe just providing a pleasant distraction from the pain. The mere thought of his adorable Loki napping on this perfect specimen was almost too much. Goro _needed_ one. He will have to double back once he shakes Ren. 

Eventually, as Goro presumed, Ren returns, carrying what is unmistakably food-court fare. Although he shakes his head dismissively, Goro is almost touched at the gesture. It seems that thanking his coworker was becoming a more frequent occurrence than he was hoping. 

“Hot dog or pizza?” Ren asks, offering both paper plates.

“Pizza.” Goro grabs the plate with the extremely large slice of floppy pizza. “Ah. Thank you, Ren.” The words taste awful, and he can’t even wash it down yet because he still has a huge cat in his other hand. One that he had plucked from Ren’s cart. 

After not-so-sneakily returning the toy to its rightful owner, which Ren does smile knowingly at (but thankfully doesn’t comment on), Goro takes his first bite. It doesn’t matter what he is eating, at that moment. He had been so hungry. A small, genuine smile forms and Ren stares speechless, quickly putting an end to that expression. 

“What? Do I have something on my face?” Goro blotts the area around his mouth with a white paper napkin, but Ren just shakes his head no, blushing embarrassingly bright.

“Hm? No. Sorry. I just don’t think you’ve ever _actually_ smiled at me before. I mean for real. Wait. That came out wrong.” While it would have been amusing to watch Ren self-destruct over wording an observation that would offend almost anyone else, Goro would put him out of his misery. 

“Stop rambling. You’re probably correct. Congratulations I suppose? Consider it payment for the food. Not that it has as much value.” 

“That's not true. It's priceless.” How could this man say such audacious things so easily with a stoic look in his tired eyes and no hint of embarrassment. It was as if Ren had forgotten that they were barricading the path to frozen egg rolls. 

“That wasn’t a self-deprecating comment. I simply meant you can’t exchange the memory of my flawless smile for goods or services.” Goro had given up on a fake smile, settling on a comfortable smirk.

“I wouldn’t trade it for all the pizza in the world.” Wow. If Goro was _at all_ interested in Ren (emotionally, of course, he has eyes) he probably would have imperceptibly swooned. However, this is Goro, so he just gives a pointed look, one brow arching upwards. 

Maybe the reality of it all finally struck Ren or maybe the temporary hypnosis of Goro’s True Smile had just worn off; Regardless, he looks a bit mortified, and rightfully so. 

“I should go.” Ren says, quietly, still beet red in the face.

“Yeah.” Goro swiftly agrees, uncomfortably grabbing his cart to leave. It’s far from a smooth exit, and he doesn’t look forward to their inevitably awkward next encounter. 

Pushing thoughts of the future from his head for now, Goro mentally reorganizes his priorities:

  1. Acquire the big squishy cat 
  2. Escape.



  
  


**_Thursday, January 14th_ **

“Alright everyone, as we went over during homeroom yesterday, you can go look around, but make sure you stay in groups of four or more. If you get split up or anything happens, you have our phone numbers, but any teacher you find will be able to help you. Stay safe, have fun, we’ll meet back here at noon for lunch.” Goro looks unto a sea of 2nd year students, their faces simultaneously exhausted and excited. “Understand?”

An unanimous groan of compliance echoes through the group.

“When are we meeting?” Call and response has never been the history teacher’s style, but punctuality is important. 

With absolutely no enthusiasm, the students respond with a cacophony of the word noon.

“Alright, go on.” The faces perk up slightly as they filter in different directions. Goro shakes his head wistfully before looking around. This is far from his first trip to the biggest science museum their region has, but each time he comes here, it makes him smile. 

The figure shadowing him steps forward, hands in his pockets. “I haven’t been here since I was their age..” Ren trails off, looking around with wide eyes. “Love a museum.”

“It’s been that long for you? I try to go to a couple each year. This is a favorite of mine.” Ren nods, eyes still flicking between exhibits.

“You lead, I’ll follow? Since you’re the expert and all.” 

Goro knew that he would be stuck with his homeroom and all its entanglements today, so it isn’t a surprise that Ren plans to follow him like a duckling. He gives half of a shrug. “Fine by me. Lets start there.” Goro points towards a personal favorite of his, the natural science and weather exhibits. 

Even from the front hall, visitors can see the large glass structure containing a spinning vortex and hear the crack of simulated lightning. Ren nods with somehow more enthusiasm than usual before speed walking in that direction.

They weave through giant spinning disks with loose sand and stop to experiment with the tsunami simulator. It's fun and Ren brings a surprising amount of trivia with each topic. He has both hands firmly planted on a giant plasma ball when his jaw drops slightly. 

Ren’s still electrified hair deflates slightly as he lets go and speeds to the very back of the exhibit. 

“Find something you like?” Goro asks when he catches up.

“Porcupines.” Ren says definitively, as if that explains _anything_. He's standing in front of a tank in the middle of the atom exploration displays.

“Excuse me?” The brunette lifts a brow in confusion before going to stand next to his co-worker. 

“Porcupines.” He repeats, this time pointing at the contents of the tank. 

Goro bends over to examine it more closely. It's a shiny pool of black goo, opalescent and beautiful, like an oil slick. There are some rods and disks in the enclosure, but certainly nothing living. 

“Explain.” He demands. 

A smile curls up on Ren’s face as he goes to turn the large plastic dials seated in front of the tank. Goro watches as the liquid becomes... not. The pool curls up onto what must be magnets and forms countless tiny spikes. “Ferrofluids, huh. It looks more like a sea urchin, honestly.” 

Ren laughs, a big smile on his face. “You're not wrong. This is just one of the very few things I remember enjoying when I was little. I called them fancy porcupines.” His grey eyes linger on the spiky balls before spinning the dial again and watching them drip back into liquid. “I still think they are really neat.”

Goro looks over at Ren, who is being far more vulnerable than his counterpart deserves. It feels _genuine._ Honestly the whole time they’ve spent at the museum has been enjoyable and effortless in a way Goro certainly didn’t prepare for. He presses his lips into a flat line in consideration. 

“Want to see what my favorite thing was as a kid? Not as exciting or unique, certainly, but charming nonetheless.” Goro watches only long enough to get a stunned nod of approval that swiftly morphs into a poorly suppressed smile.

They make their way past the giant Newton’s cradle and the tesla coil back into the main hallway. 

“Goro!” He hears a sweet voice calling for him at a volume that is a bit above museum appropriate and turns to see Sumire, who is waving and walking towards them, Futaba trailing behind. 

“Hello Ms.Yoshizawa, Dr. Sakura.” Futaba flinches at the title.

“Gross. This is why I avoid you during school hours.” She mutters.

“Oh he really does do that to everyone…” Ren says quietly.

“Did you think I was singling you out? Actually, that's plausible, but no. I insist on formality during school hours. This trip is no exception.” Goro shrugs. It’s an odd insistence, but something that makes him feel more comfortable.

Sumire giggles as Futaba calls him a killjoy.

“Anyway, we were on our way to the mirror maze. You guys wanna come with?” Sumire smiles brightly and pushes her glasses up her nose.

Ren looks to Goro for an answer, uncertain of the detour.

“That sounds fun.” He decides with a nod.

“Alright.” Futaba gives a baby fist pump. “Let's get crackin.” 

The four of them make their way to the patterns in nature exhibit. Futaba gets distracted by fractals and they find Yusuke alone staring at a screen with the words ‘Golden Ratio’ above it. 

Sumire approaches the art teacher. “Are you okay Yusuke?” 

When she lightly touches his arm, he bolts from his stupor, startled and confused. When he sees the familiar group he soothes himself with a hand to his heart. “Oh Sumire you snuck up on me.” He looks around, searching. “Have you seen Ann or Ryuji? We were in here together.”

“Oh buddy.” Futaba says, a bit of pity fighting the clear amusement in her eyes. “We've been in this exhibit for 15 minutes and haven’t seen them.”

“Must have gotten lost in the beauty. Nature is most exquisite.” Clearly being left behind didn’t trouble him too much. 

Ren opened his mouth to say something when a small group approaches them, targeting both him and Goro. “Mr. Akechi. Do you both have a moment?” Yukiko, their homeroom representative and general theatre kid, is flanked by a few classmates. There is a hint of concern in her eyes, but she manages to keep a relaxed aura about her.

“Oh. Of course Yukiko.” Ren turns to the other 3 teachers and tells them they will catch up later.

“What's the matter?” Goro prompts.

“Its Chie” Goro is unsurprised to hear that name. “She's wandered off. I’m not terribly concerned about her getting lost or scared. By now she’s probably found Yosuke and joined that group, but on the off chance she hasn’t… Well you know. She has a habit of getting into trouble. Just keep an eye out? If you see her let me know.” 

“Of course. Thanks for letting us know.” Ren responds.

“Don’t worry Yukiko, I’m sure she’ll turn up in time for lunch.” The high schooler laughs a bit at Goro’s quip before politely excusing herself and the rest of her group. 

“Why am I never surprised to hear Chie’s name in these situations?” Ren shakes his head fondly, a small smile gracing his lips. 

“Because she’s a magnet for trouble. Either that or it is a magnet for her, but the point remains.” A sigh slips from Goro involuntarily. “At least I’m fairly confident she isn’t scared or upset. She’s always been good at rolling with the punches. Although...she isn’t in our homeroom so I don’t know why she was with Yukiko.”

Ren gently shoots a knowing look at him, as if nonverbal communication is a specialty of theirs. After a lingering moment of silence and mild confusion on Goro’s part, he decides to text her actual homeroom teacher, Ann, just to let her know the situation. She seems just as concerned as the rest of them with a quick ‘ _lol thx :)’_ in response.

“Where were we?” Goro says quietly, mainly to himself.

Never one to be deterred by Goro’s intent, Ren answers “Well we are currently lost in the beauty of nature, but I still want to see what your favorite thing was when you were little.” Ren rocks back and forth on his heels slightly. 

“Right.” Goro had suggested that in a moment that had since passed, but he could push through that. “Follow me I suppose.”

The two of them wind their way back through the mirror maze and into the corridor leading to the east wing. A glance to his side tells him that Ren is holding something back. He looks full of nervous energy, fiddling with his fingers and eyes flitting more than before.

“Do you have something to say?” Goro prompts as they grow closer to the entrance of the genetics exhibit.

Ren looks taken aback by the innocent quandary. “I usually do, I just don’t want to wear your patience with me too thin.” The smile he gives Goro is slightly strained but still genuine.

“Don’t bother, it’s almost eerie to have you be so quiet.” He meant it too. For some reason Ren’s silence was unnerving and far more unpleasant than hearing his tangents on pizza toppings or sweaters for animals. 

Ren cocks his head to the side just slightly and beams “Okay.” 

Before Ren can launch into more hard hitting conversation topics, Goro halts in front of a large glass dome in the middle of the room. There are several small children and a few students he recognizes peering in and pointing at its contents. 

“Like I said, far from original, but I’ve always been fond of the baby chicks here.” A warmth washes over him. “I’ve never been one to celebrate birth or life with much vigor, but when I was small I was lucky enough to see one peck its way out of its shell. I guess that determination and will to fight sat well with me. Even then.” 

Goro knows he’s smiling softly, vulnerable like a fool. When he finally meets Ren’s eyes, the darker haired man looks away, slightly flushed. More than willing to look past it, Goro moves closer to the glass, the heat lamps giving off a soothing glow. 

“They look so soft.” Ren whispers, standing behind him, closer than before. Goro nods without looking back. He recalls a time in kindergarten he held a baby chick, it was warm and it’s beak and toes were sharp. It peed on his hand, but before that it had been magical. 

“I want to steal one.” Ren says plainly. Goro looks over his shoulder to give him a look, one eyebrow raised in mock challenge. 

“I agree, but they need the lights to stay warm, so I’ll leave them be for now.” 

“Oh just you wait little chickies, once I build an incubator, then you’ll be mine.” Ren crouches down to speak to the birds at eye level. They continue to beep at everything and nothing and a few huddle together for a quick nap.

Goro chuckles a bit before backing up and looking around the rest of the space. There are a few smaller domes with other animals, including some mice he slowly walks towards. Ren follows behind after a bit more chick-gazing with a happy look on his face. 

They briefly discuss the ethics of cloning, devolving into a lighthearted argument about the cinematic implications of scientific advancement. 

Words flow between them and it comes naturally over time. It’s odd, Goro notes, that he can feel so comfortable around Ren now. He has no doubt that his qualms remain with the mysterious man, but the chemistry (strictly platonic, of course) is undeniable.

It’s especially hard to ignore when Goro’s phone rings and he sees two things at once.

  1. The selfie Ann stole his phone to make her contact photo
  2. The clock in the upper corner that reads 12:15 



So much for punctuality.

**_Tuesday, January 26th_ **

It was one those days, from the moment Goro woke up. The sun was bright, the birds were singing happily. A beautiful day.

Goro felt like he was going to die. A pounding headache coupled with a bright apartment and incessant chirping was the most unethical joke God had ever played on him. He knew when he went to sleep last night it would be a rough morning. 

He had no idea.

Through the power of painkillers, coffee, and sheer, bull-headed determination, Goro got through the school day. It was dragging, but it wasn’t over. Not by a long shot.

A messy head of black curls peeks into the doorway of his classroom a few minutes after the final (searing, echoing, ringing) bell. “You ready for round 2?” Ren’s words bounce around on the linoleum, making Goro’s head pulse. Surely listening to 50 students sing and dance horribly for several hours will help. Right? 

He drops his head to his desk, mewling. “Turn off the lights and close the door. I am begging you.”

“Oh Goro, how forward of you.” Ren replies, a playful tone in his voice. If Goro was willing to open his eyes, he would probably see the other man with a hand in front of his mouth, feigning modesty. 

Goro only groans in response. He can sense Ren approaching, his steps are light and drowned out by the dull roar in the halls. 

“Hey are you feeling alright?” Mercifully, Ren is speaking softly.

“Why do you only ask me that when the answer is _painfully_ obvious.” The pun was not intended, but he hears a small chuckle near his ear. Goro flips his head to rest his ear in the pillow of his elbow, facing the side he knows Ren is on. He squints an eye open just enough to see the crouched frame of his co-director, concern twinkling in his eyes. “My head is going to explode. There aren’t enough pain killers in the world to keep me upright anymore.”

“Why didn’t you call in sick?” Ren’s voice is soothing. It runs like water and is the only sound that hasn’t made Goro want to pull his eardrums out. Annoying.

“Auditions.” His own voice still echoes horribly in his head, so short and sweet answers were key.

“Yeah they’re going to be even worse with a headache, you masochist.” Ren smiles, and Goro has to look away.

“Hmmm. That's new.” Conveniently, Goro flips his head to block the light again.

“What?”

“Usually people call me a sadist.” The quip is muffled by his sleeves, but Ren seems to appreciate it from the soft chuckle. It might be worth it.

“Well I’m glad you're feeling good enough to joke around, but you should go home.” He can hear Ren’s knees creaking as he stands.

“I can’t reschedule auditions. That's not fair to the students.” This must give Ren pause, as he is silent for a fleeting moment.

“I’ll be right back.” The door opens quickly and shuts slowly. For a moment Goro is almost glad his head hurts enough to distract him from almost missing Ren. A few minutes later he returns with the same urgency and care.

“Here. Try this.” Ren holds out a small sealed baggie with bright colored foam. “I know I can’t talk you out of this, and you probably don’t trust me enough to do this on my own. Which is fair, and I wouldn’t either. So maybe earplugs will at least dull the sound? But really I think you should reschedule and go home. Are you even safe to drive?--” Ren continues muttering at a low volume, it's almost soothing and when he puts the earplugs in, all he can perceive are Ren’s moving lips. It's not perfect, but it helps. It helps so much he could cry and pass out and the latter is coming in hot.

“Thank you.” Goro says at some volume. “I can’t hear you anymore. Or myself.” He sees Ren snort, eyes closing slightly and the corners of his mouth lifting. His mouth says something, but Goro hasn’t ever been good at reading lips. He’s too tired to control his expressions, and Ren seems to pick that up, so he just gives a thumbs up instead and sits in his favorite seat. 

Ren glues his palms together and raises them to his cheek to mimic a sleeping child. Who is Goro to disagree? He knows the answer to that, but nods a little before plopping his head back down. 

The next moment there is a hesitant hand rubbing slow circles on his shoulder and Goro knows he fell asleep for a bit. The sun is still setting, so it hasn’t been long, but the rest helps a bit. Reluctantly he nods and makes to stand up. Ren reaches out to help, stopping a few inches away, ready to support him if he needs it. He might. Later.

Most of the students have made their way home, and the halls are much quieter. It's a small mercy.

When the two of them approach the hallway in front of the theater, they see a large group of kids. Immediately a hush falls over them. Most of them familiar faces, all of them worried. 

A small, familiar figure approaches. Naoto speaks to Ren, but keeps their voice low enough that Goro can’t hear through the ear plugs. He pulls out words here and there like ‘sick’ and ‘home.’ It wasn’t as if he thought they were discussing anything aside from him, but it's frustrating being treated like a child, even if with the best intentions.

Goro braces himself on Ren as he removes one of the ear plugs. In that moment he is finally aware of how much they were helping as he recoils from the flood of noise. He puts a single, gloved finger up in a universal gesture of ‘give me one fucking second.’

“Mr.Akechi?” Naoto’s eyes are gentle but firm. A great reminder of why Goro trusts them so much. “You should go home.”

Goro opens his mouth to protest but Naoto isn’t done. They have been student director on too many productions to think that would work without any additional reasoning. “What do you suggest.”

“We can record today’s auditions, and I’ll take _so many_ notes. It will take a bit longer to cast, but that way no one needs to reschedule and you can take care of yourself.” 

It's a solid idea, certainly not ideal, but it's becoming increasingly clear that Goro would be as good as useless there. And quite frankly, he trusts Naoto’s judgment over Ren’s. “Fine.” As the words leave his lips, a wave of relief passes through the hall. 

Ren gently taps Goro’s shoulder before leaning in to whisper “Wait here, I’ll be right back.” and taking off down the hallway. In the meantime, Naoto unlocks the soundbooth so Goro can sit down while he waits for god-knows-what.

In this case, however, god-knows-what is an angel in human form. It’s Ann, half-running with her arms extended to hug Goro, which he allows for a few moments.

“I’m going to take you home, you disaster.” She teases. 

Goro closes his eyes and braces himself for the rush of gratitude he feels towards Ren, who is strangely out of breath. “Thank you for grabbing her. Were you… Running?”

“It’s nothing. I did. Yeah. I looked for Yusuke first but he already left so I had to jog to the other wing.” Ren smiles, face slightly flushed from exertion, as if it was the only logical thing to do. As if it wasn't one of the nicest and most considerate things anyone has done for him. 

“Thanks.” Goro winces “I need to-” and puts the earplug he removed back in. He wills his mouth to request that they leave, but he can’t hear it. 

When Goro has his belongings and is safe in Ann’s passenger seat, now also wearing dark sunglasses, he finally can exhale. Ann rubs his thigh with a small, fond smile. It's incredibly comforting. 

It's nostalgic in a way, having Ann take care of him.

The blonde walks him up to his apartment and makes sure he safely gets into PJs before quickly helping him remove his contacts and wash his face. As her hands gently dab the towel across his face, Goro knows that he has the best friends in the world.

His brain is functioning slowly enough that Goro doesn’t even realize he includes Ren in that list. Not that he would have the time to overthink it, the moment he tucks into bed, he is asleep.

**_Friday, February 5th_ **

The longer he spends around the man, the more Ren becomes less of a threat, and more of a benign growth. Goro starts watching him a bit more carefully. Sure he’ll give him a chance, but that does _not_ mean he trusts Ren.

The rest of January flies by, and Goro finally realizes how blind he’s been. Ren is in no way, shape or form subtle in his interest in the History teacher. How that unrelenting flirting flew directly under Goro’s radar for _months_ is beyond him. 

Today, the Jack-of-all-departments is back at it again, with as unconvincing of an excuse as ever.

“Heya Mr. Akechi. Have a good week? I know you like to tidy before the weekend, but do you need any help?”

“No thank you, Mr. Amamiya.” Goro continues to make sense of the papers strewn about his desk.

“Oh please? I use a smartboard, so I don’t ever have to clean the screen, but I’ve always found whiteboards so satisfying.” Goro rolls his eyes at what is probably Ren's best attempt at puppy-dog eyes, not bothering to hide his mild annoyance.

Likely story, but whatever. There is a first time for everything, but this has happened before, and he knows that fighting is futile. “Have at it.”

Ren smiles and enters the room fully.

“Close the door behind you, it's Friday and I don’t want to deal with students anymore.” There is a sense of relief at dropping the act with Ren. It tastes weird, being remotely honest with the other man, like licking a battery. 

“Well isn’t that convenient. I wanted to talk to you.” Ren complies.

Goro taps a stack of papers, carefully clipping them together and slipping them into his messenger bag. “That makes me quite nervous. I hope you're not wasting either of our time.” He spins his chair to meet Ren’s gaze (who is doing a horrible job pretending to clean).

Grey eyes squint and his mouth pinches up a bit. “There you go again. Something changed between us and I don’t think it’s bad, but I’m still very confused.”

“You sure do love to push the envelope, don't you.” Goro knows Ren is a fool in the purest sense, especially around him, but having to spell everything out for him constantly is exhausting.

“What do you mean?” He tilts his head to the side ( _again_ like a fucking puppy). Goro closes his eyes to pinch the bridge of his nose. It has been a long week, and he doesn’t need this.

“You were so desperate for me to give you a chance, but once I do, you’re here, back to playing with fire.”

“Wait you're giving me a chance?” Ren’s eyes bug slightly as if the idea had never occurred to him. 

“I wouldn’t go quite that far, but I don’t think I hate you anymore. So I’m also not going to fake bullshit formality with you. Take that as you will.” Goro might regret saying that, considering how far Ren seems to run with any shred of hope.

He continues what he's doing but Ren doesn’t say anything. When Goro finally looks up again, Ren is standing yards away, face blank. He looks scared, almost. As if Goro tolerating him is a heavy burden.

“If it's easier for you, I’m sure it wouldn’t be hard to start loathing you again.” He tilts his head to rest on his fist, challenging the other teacher. 

“Loath? Jeez. No. Sorry I just didn’t expect that. It kinda seemed hopeless, honestly.” Ren breaks eye contact to twiddle what must be the most interesting strand of hair ever, judging by his focus. 

“You were trying awfully hard for it to have felt hopeless.” 

“That's just because I like you.” Goro closes his eyes, trying to keep calm. Too forward.

“Pushing the envelope…” He reminds him, his fingers tapping restlessly against the heavy wood next to him.

“I just meant as a person, Goro.” Ren looks a bit exhausted, all of a sudden.

“Sure.” He’s not convinced but more than willing to drop it.

“I believe you already said something about not wasting your time?” 

Goro laughed at that. “Touche. Did I answer your question?”

“Oh only one of many. Especially if I don’t feel like you might kill me at any time.”

“Don’t get too comfortable. I only said I don’t hate you. I’m not attached.” Ren pouts. “Of course the kids are, so unfortunately you are safe for now.”

“Unfortunately?” Ren laughs a bit. Somehow the smile returning to his face comforts Goro, just a touch of warmth in his brain.

“Quite.” Goro pauses to consider his next words carefully. He has a few options: Say nothing, let Ren drive the conversation, probably in a different direction. Or, he could actually follow through with this “chance” he was giving him. Tell at least a bit of the truth. 

(Ha. As if that would ever happen.)

“Fair enough. Do you have any plans for the weekend?” Finally, Ren turns his attention to the white board, which he had been pretending to clean previously.

“As fun as it sounds, I was finally able to give a unit exam this week. So I will be grading those.” Goro motions towards the stack of papers in his bag.

“Oh I’m sure they can’t wait to get those back.” 

“My tests are fair, and they had time to prepare. I don't anticipate any tears.” It's something he prides himself upon. Ensuring he’s taught the material correctly as opposed to trying to trip his students up with trick questions.

“What a low bar, Goro.”

“Do any of your classes even have tests?” He teases, keeping an edge on his words.

“How rude.” Ren said, feigning offense. “Only my psych class has pen and paper exams, but I measure growth in other ways in my other courses too.”

“Well that's good if only for the sake of our accreditation.” 

“Haru wouldn’t hire anyone who would put her institution in jeopardy, not even me.” Ren probably means it as a light hearted joke, but Goro falls silent. 

Is he ready to ask the questions that have felt so wrong in his stomach since day one? 

How did he get this job? 

Who is he to Haru Okumura? 

Why has he been so dead set on being in Goro’s life from day one?

He forces down a shiver at the memory of being watched with wide, wonder-filled eyes so many months ago, before he even knew Ren’s name. 

For once, Goro feels cowardly. He’s never been one for shying away from confrontation, but for some reason this is a truth he isn’t sure he wants. Goro is positive that if he asks, Ren will answer his questions. So why does he hold back?

If the only justification for his dislike vanishes, what is he supposed to do then? 

“Goro? Are you feeling alright?” He flicks his eyes to meet Ren’s. “I thought we lost you for a second there.” The smile on his face makes Goro’s teeth ache. 

“Just tired. Long week.” A bad excuse, but not a total lie. Ren’s face falls all the same. Goro’s thoughts continue to race, praying that he won’t pry any further. Not right now. Not yet. 

What could Goro say when he can’t answer his own questions, let alone ask any?

“Right.” Ren nods his head once before continuing to clean in silence. The two of them have spent hours in silence together, but this hangs differently. 

Thick in the air.

Uncomfortable, grating. 

Ren fiddles with the board, taking way longer than necessary. Goro feels like he is miles away, unnerved by the impact of that one sentence.

Neither of them dares to break the silence for 15 minutes.

“Um. I’m not going to push you to talk, but if I said something, I’m sorry.” The usually confident voice is little more than a whisper. Their eyes meet and Goro watches Ren throat bob as he swallows. 

Words fail. Ren excuses himself soon after with a slightly dejected look. One so different from the hopeful expression he wore earlier.

It stings a little bit. 

Goro goes home.

  
  


**_Saturday, February 13th_ **

“Hey man, thanks for uh..comin’?” Goro has to applaud Ryuji’s attempts at welcoming banter, though frankly he’s not sure why the gym teacher invited him in the first place. Nevertheless here he is, standing in front of a modest two story house in a decent enough neighborhood with bags of requested ingredients hanging from his arms.

“Thanks for inviting me?” Goro poses it as a question, because Ryuji is still standing in the doorway, thoroughly blocking his way in. A pointed look communicates the issue and Ryuji gasps a bit before backing up to let him in. 

The two of them worked together for a few years, Ryuji’s tenure exceeding Goro’s by one, but he has never stepped foot into the other man’s house. This fact didn’t bother Goro, in fact he never thought about it at all because he and Ryuji were acquaintances on a good day and he forgot about him every other moment.

In a word, the interior of Ryuji’s house is- surprising.

Goro’s extremely limited knowledge of this home owner (or renter, who knows) is mostly related to his occupation, which is very… well he's a gym teacher, use your imagination. Ryuji has never struck Goro to be inclined towards interior decorating or subtlety, but he sees it around him in spades. Muted tones on the walls adorned with a few nicely framed paintings, some definitely from Yusuke. 

The floor is hardwood and it is clear from the lack of debris that he is expected to remove his shoes, which Goro does after handing off the canvas totes to his host. 

“Nice place.” Goro tries and fails to keep the surprise out of his voice, but Ryuji doesn’t seem to mind. 

“No thanks to me.” He says with a light chuckle, which Goro can only give a look of confusion to. 

“Oh?” Ryuji takes the question as rhetorical, or just doesn’t feel like answering as he leads Goro down the front hall into the kitchen. Relieved to see he is not the first person here, Goro gravitates to a sturdy wooden table and sets his phone on the place next to where Yusuke is seated.

The gesture seems to draw the young man’s attention and he greets Goro with a gentle smile. “Goro, welcome.”

“Yeah. Thanks.” There is uncertainty in his tone, but in this moment, Goro is certain that this is going to be an awkward afternoon. 

From a room on the other side of the kitchen, he hears a gentle, excited gasp and not 10 seconds later, a very casually dressed Ren pops through the doorway. The rest of the company, Ryuji included, are wearing real pants, of one kid or another. But on this brisk February afternoon, Ren is sporting what are obviously sleep shorts, and things begin to make sense.

“Oh do you live here too?” 

Ren nods his head. “Yeah Ryuji and I have been roommates since the beginning of time.”

“Or since sophomore year of college.” Ryuji butts in.

“The beginning of time.” Ren reiterates loudly, pulling his roommate into a headlock. “Anyway I’m glad you made it. My sinister plan worked.” The grin across his face is anything but, and Goro’s interest is peaked when Yuskue chuckles daintily. 

“Plan?” He isn’t sure if he actually wants to know what the plan was, but he is already locked into this social engagement, what is there to lose?

Red nods. “Yeah. I figured that the only way you would show up is if A- Yusuke extended the invitation and B- you didn’t know I lived here.” 

His second point might have been a deterrent a few weeks back, but Goro couldn’t argue with the former. He offers a noncommittal shrug. “Well the downside of having Yusuke ask me is that I have no fucking idea what we are doing.”

Ryuji lets out a boisterous laugh as he breaks free from Ren’s hold. “You have a good point there, man. What did he even say?” 

Yusuke chimes in “I invited him to come celebrate the passion of friendship and to bring snacks.” The blank looks being directed at the shameless artist uncannily mirror what Goro’s initial response was.

“So it could have been anywhere between game night and an orgy. But the snacks made it feel safe.” 

Ren is shaking from holding back his laughter until he sees the incredulous look on Yusuke’s face, then he loses it. Ryuji face palms and shakes his head. “And you agreed to that?” The blonde asks.

“If I said no every time Yusuke invited me somewhere with vague and flowery words, I would never leave the house.” Ryuji accepts that with a bob of his bleached head before continuing to unpack the aforementioned snack toll. 

“So is anyone going to tell me what we are doing?” 

“Oh.” Ren has recovered from his laughing fit and goes to take the seat on the other side of Goro “I mean I think the idea is just to watch some shitty movies and eat junk food and chill. Maybe drink a little once it's not 1 in the afternoon. Pal-entines day or something like that.”

“Oh right February is already halfway over.” Goro had completely forgotten about Valentines day. Whenever the 14th fell on a weekend, it tended to slip past his attention. Dating was never a big interest for Goro, and even if he had a significant other, he doubts he would find it enjoyable. A lot of pressure for no reason. 

No, to Goro, Valentines day just meant that they only had a few more weeks until their spring musical opened. Hardly a romantic.

Once all their various snacks had been put into smaller dishes, they moved into the next room over, which was a reasonably large room with a big couch long enough for two to lounge or three to sit and some comfy looking chairs. 

It was again, a very tastefully decorated room with a clean, glass-top table in front of the couch that was armed with black stone-cut coasters. He was almost impressed with what was evidently Ren’s interior design sense.

They placed their bowls on the table and Ren made sure to bring a small stack of napkins. Yusuke quickly flopped into one of the chairs flanking the couch and Ryuji the other (but only after giving Goro an indecipherable look), leaving Ren and Goro the couch. 

Goro made sure to leave a lot of space between them.

After deliberating on what movie to watch, they all decided on a small animated movie marathon, playing rock-paper-scissors to decide who got to choose first. Ren won and queued up Howl’s Moving Castle, an old favorite of Goro’s. He bundled himself in a fuzzy blanket and settled in. 

Nothing went wrong.

Goro expected _something_ to go wrong.

But nothing did. The four of them co-existed peacefully as they jabbered quietly and watched their films. It was honestly one of the more enjoyable evenings out that Goro had gone to in a while. 

Ryuji shocked everyone with his choice of The Little Mermaid (which he might have cried over, judging by the light sniffles on Goro’s right). There was nothing Yuskue could pick that would surprise them, but his boundless passion for Anastasia was delightfully refreshing. 

Goro might have gotten the last pick, but that also meant he was already a bit tipsy from the wine that came out after Anastasia left for St.Petersburg. He started up Into the Spiderverse and noticed a few approving nods and a very excited look from his couch buddy. 

Ren ordered a pizza and put paper towels on the table underneath it to avoid leaving grease marks and Goro might have swooned. Casually. 

It made him think for a moment. If Goro had met Ren in any other situation, what would their relationship be like? 

From an intoxicated, objective point of view, their conversations were interesting and easy, their taste in furniture parallel, and their dislike for unnecessary mess harmonious. Goro already knew and had come to terms with Ren’s beauty, and the other party was obviously interested in the disagreeable brunette, despite... everything. 

The thought was a little too much for him right now. But when Ren handed him his glass of wine, newly refreshed, and their fingers brushed against one another, Goro let the touch linger for a moment. Their eyes met and Ren immediately blushed and retreated.

Interesting.

As Goro watched the flushed man retreat into a cocoon of blankets, a seed he was unaware of began to take root in his brain. The tenets of which were thus.

  1. Ren is _adorable_
  2. Goro doesn’t couldn’t hate Ren anymore




	4. Summer +

**_Sunday, March 14th_ **

From the comfort of his oh-so-cozy bed, Goro shakes his head and glares at the sun. It is finally starting to do its job, warm the earth and whatnot, but waking him before his alarm was taking things too far. 

With a resigned yawn and a stretch, Goro swings his legs over the side of his bed and into his house slippers. _It's been a while,_ he thinks, _since I went biking._ And with that, his morning is planned.

He consults the weather app on his phone which informs him that while a bit chilly (of course, it's barely spring), there isn’t much wind. Decked out in some thermal tights and his favorite gym shoes with a light breakfast in his stomach, he deemed himself ready to go.

Before leaving, he places a gentle kiss on the top of Loki’s fuzzy little head and grabs his phone and keys.

The apartment complex he lives in keeps all the bikes in one common garage space. It takes a bit of negotiating to free his steed from the masses, but when he clicks on his helmet (safety first, kids) he feels at home. 

Biking has always been an escape for Goro. He loves the warmth that burns his calves when he bikes uphill and adores the little ladybug shaped bell that rests on the inside of the handlebars. 

Since moving to this part of town, he has always biked the same path, but it's a new year and the first time out and about on Robin Hood, Goro is ready for the crumbs of adventure. 

Every year, Goro always forgets one thing: when he stops biking for the winter, he loses a lot of that stamina he builds up the rest of the year. He is tired and barely a couple miles into his jaunt. Unfortunate. He slows his pace, looking around for a place to catch his breath for a moment, maybe get some coffee. 

The area is a bit unfamiliar, he's used to driving it, but not biking it. Goro climbs off his bike and pulls off the street to do a bit of googling. He’s actually quite near a coffee shop with good reviews and what looks to be a nice, warm atmosphere. After getting definitely-not-lost down a few side streets, Goro looks up at the red and white awning.

It’s open, as indicated by the sign that hangs from the door. He locks his bike to the nearest street lamp and shrugs to himself before opening the door.

It's a small shop, but very charming. There is a rustic charm to it, but it's also clean and well kept. Goro doesn’t see anyone working, but the bell over the door rang when he opened it, so they know someone is here.

“Just a second!” A voice calls from behind the counter, the owner crouched beneath or something like that. 

“No rush.” Goro responds as he walks towards the voice.

“Huh?” A confused sound comes from the same direction. “Goro?” 

Before he can respond, a familiar face with a bird's nest of black curls pops up from behind the counter. Ren might be one of the last people Goro expected to see here, in a coffee shop, wearing an apron. He is actually speechless.

“Well fancy meeting you here.” Ren also seems surprised and a bit babble-y from the sound of his voice. While the sight of Ren in a white button up with the sleeves rolled up his forearms is nothing new (and very welcome), Goro rarely gets to see the other man’s hair in such a state of disarray. The raven black locks are curving every which way, and probably add another inch to his head, it's a bit endearing.

“You work here?” Goro says, still taken aback, but now comfortably seated at the counter. 

“Well kinda? I used to? I’m just helping out right now.” Goro nods, processing Ren’s words. “I think I mentioned that I used to work with Futaba’s dad in a small coffee shop? Welcome to LeBlanc.”

That sounded familiar at least. “Alright. Good to know.” 

Goro is unsure of whether or not he wants to stay or run for the hills right now, but social convention has him trapped. 

At least he knows Ren makes great coffee.

“What can I get for you?” The teacher-slash-barista leans over on his forearms and grins widely. 

“I trust your judgement in coffee at this point.” Goro says with a polite smile

“House blend it is. Are you hungry? I just finished making curry, Sojiro’s secret recipe.” Ren places a hand next to his mouth as if someone will overhear in the otherwise empty cafe.

“I don’t know. I generally don’t like biking on a full stomach.” His words say one thing, but the curiosity is growing. Ren can make incredible coffee and Goro has tasted his remarkable baked goods. He can only imagine how good this curry is. 

Ren must sense his deliberation “I can pack some up to-go. It reheats wonderfully.” He ducks back under the counter to pull a mug from the cabinet and begins to prep the beans. “It’s on the house this time.”

“You don’t have to-” Goro starts. 

“I insist.” Ren looks up from the task at hand just long enough to give a convincing, stubborn grin. In an attempt to not let Goro argue any further, he changes the subject. “Do you bike a lot?”

He gives a contemplative nod “I bike when the weather allows, but not usually in this area. I haven’t biked all winter, so I got a bit too ambitious today.”

“You? Ambitious? Unheard of.” Goro is unsure if he is more warmed by the coffee being placed in his hands or the eye-crinkling smile Ren gives him.

Tension flies from his shoulders as he takes a first sip. It's almost too hot, but not quite, and it feels good as it travels down the length of his spine. “Well you know how I am. I’ll probably be back at it next weekend. I aim to bike to school a few times before it gets too hot, but I’m not quite ready for that yet.”

“Wow that's impressive. I don’t know where you live, but even from here it's a few miles.” 

“Well I made it about two miles before getting winded, so just tack three more on and that's about right.”

“That sounds nice. I used to bike some, but then my tires got swiped so now I walk everywhere.” Ren’s attention falls to the spotless counter he continues to polish. “I feel like I don’t know much about you despite spending several hours a week with you. Wanna play a game?”

The suggestion catches him off guard and Goro’s eyes widen slightly. “Wow that's intimidating. What kind of game?”

“Hmm truth for truth? It doesn’t have to be deep or anything like that. I just want to know more about you.” Ren closes his eyes with the next genuine smile, and Goro realizes might just be in trouble with this one as he attempts to suppress the flush he feels in his cheeks.

“Sure, you start.”

”Lets see. Do you need glasses? I’ve never seen them, but I think they would suit you.” 

A defeated sigh deflates Goro slightly. “Yes I do. I hate them so much that I would rather stick my finger in each eye twice a day than wear them.”

Ren only nods.

A sudden thought jumps into Goro’s mind as he shoots back “Same question.”

Ren freezes like a toddler caught with their arm in the cookie jar. A hand goes to leaf through his hair, a nervous tick, Goro recognizes.

“No. I just like the barrier between myself and others. My vision is perfect.” Without being prompted, the man behind the counter removes his glasses. Goro is struck by how big of a difference it makes, and maybe is a bit flustered by how it makes Ren even more attractive. Shit.

Ren takes advantage of Goro’s moment of internal struggle to quickly slip his glasses on the other man. A shameless grin plants itself on his face, as he admires his work. “I knew you’d look good with glasses. Now you know my weakness though, so I need to figure out your secrets.”

A quick laugh busts from Goro’s chest and he returns the glasses back to Ren. “Good luck.”

He taps his chin in faux contemplation as he re-equips his glasses. “Can you cook?”

“Ha! No. Not at all. I try but it goes horribly wrong every time. I can sure make a salad though. My knife skills are impressive.” 

“Scary.” Ren’s words don’t reflect the joy in his eyes. 

Goro is almost willing to play along for now. “Good.”

It's Goro’s turn once again, and he asks himself, is he ready to ask the questions he’s been asking for months? His opinion of Ren has rapidly changed over the past month, and their relationship is nearly unrecognizable when compared to what it was in August. Honestly, he doesn’t know what he’s so afraid of at this point, and this opportunity is undeniably too good to pass up. 

Goro’s fingers drum anxiously on top of the smooth wooden bar “I don’t mean to pry. But there's been something I’ve been curious about since we met. Well curious might be too kind of a word.” 

Ren’s attention is firmly on him now, and he gives an easy nod “Prying is the name of the game. Shoot.”

Wording is important. How could he ask this in a way wouldn’t come across as aggressive or attacking? “Why were there such suspicious circumstances surrounding your hire? Referrals are well and good, but from what I’ve been told it was a rush job and a far cry from the normal process.” 

Without even pausing, Ren asks. “Is that why you hate me?”

Goro refuses to let him be avoidant here. “It’s your turn to answer.” Something still doesn’t sit right though, and it needs to be stated plainly “I don’t hate you. Anymore.”

Dread works its way into Ren’s features. “I hate talking about this. Can I just say that I didn’t do anything wrong and I’m more than qualified and be done with it?” He groans.

“Would you be satisfied with that kind of answer?” They both know the answer to that.

“Guhhhhh. Okay fine, but you're not allowed to interrupt, I can’t deal with snide commentary with this, I just can’t.”

“Understood.”

Ren stops making eye contact, and the sudden void is unnerving. “I know she isn’t your cup of tea, but I’ve known Haru for forever. We grew up together, and if you know anything about her and her family, it's not a stretch to assume that my family was just as wealthy. And that's true. The majority of my life I was a spoiled rich kid who got what I wanted and had everyone tied around my finger.” 

Goro has never seen Ren like this. Dejected, afraid, hesitant. He hates it.

“You've accused me of being fake in the past.” Ren goes on. “I don’t really know what tipped you off, but I used to be a manipulative little monster who knew exactly what strings to pull. I’ve put a lot of effort into becoming a different person, but old habits die hard, and if I’m not liked by people, it breaks me. 

“To answer your question best as I can, without going on for several hours, I was disowned a while back for reasons I’d rather not disclose. That was horrible, but I worked through it and came out fine. Stronger and definitely a better person.” He pauses and rests both forearms on the bar, curling in over them. “But last year I went and pissed off my parents again and with that, every connection I made was destroyed. All of my work was discounted, I was blacklisted without reason or warning from almost every establishment worth naming.

Haru hired me quickly and informally to give me a chance. The contract locked me in and the board, as furious as they were, had their hands tied. So now I have a few years of this until I am no doubt rushed out the door. Haru stuck out her neck for me, so I’ll always be grateful for her.

“That's all.”

Silence falls in the empty cafe, not even the sound of steam reaching their ears.

Goro nods. “That kind of raises more questions, but I get the feeling you don’t want to keep talking about it.”

Ren shakes his head, still looking down.

“Your turn I suppose.”

Ren lifts his gaze, and Goro is faced with the most heart shattering smile he’s ever seen. It’s sad but still full of gratitude. His pulse quickens and he almost offers the other man a hug, which is _not_ something he does.

“Since we decided to make this personal, I’ll again: Is that why you hate, or I guess hated, me?”

It’s Goro’s turn to sigh as he turns to look out the window. Ren was just honest with him, vague, certainly, but it obviously took a lot out of him. Maybe it was the safe environment, or the general atmosphere, but Goro felt like Ren deserved some of the truth.

“I’d say it's a bit more complicated than that, but it is why I didn’t trust you. My dislike reflected more on myself than you, in all honesty. I’ve always been..jealous? Insecure? There isn’t a good way to sum it up, but I felt like you were a threat, that you were going to take everything that I held dear to me. At first it was a combination of my inherent distrust and what I saw as undeserved love from everyone important to me, but it grew into an ugly, possessive hate.”

“In the end my fear wasn’t totally unfounded, but I’ve learned to share and you’ve been a great help.” Goro can’t help but smile, sadly even.

“I never stood a chance, huh.” Ren jokes. Goro appreciates the attempt to lighten the mood.

“No one ever does, but you fought me at every turn and I suppose it worked in the end.”

“Did it?”

Confused, Goro looks back to the other man. “What do you mean?”

Ren opens his mouth to speak, pink dusting his cheeks, and Goro realizes that they were speaking about different things. 

“I don’t know if I can keep putting myself out there like this, Goro. You have to be aware of my feelings for you by now. I don’t want to pressure you or make you feel uncomfortable, and if there is even the slightest chance that you might return them, that's fine, but if there is no hope, I need you to tell me, frankly.”

Goro’s stunned into what Ren probably sees as silence, but in his mind, the brunette’s thoughts are rampaging. 

He was ready to admit that he didn’t hate Ren, that he enjoyed being around him, even. Goro had come to terms with his physical attraction to the other teacher long ago as well. But what did that mean?

What did any of this mean?

“...Goro?” Ren calls him out of his mind. 

“Sorry about that, my thoughts are...loud.” What an understatement.

Ren nods almost imperceptibly. 

“Can I...think about what you said? I know that this isn’t the first time you’ve alluded to your… affections, but I’ve never let the words sink in.” Goro feels vulnerable, like a newborn kitten. Eyes freshly opened to a word far too bright.

A small smile finds its place on Ren’s face, and Goro is satisfied by the sight. “I would really like it if you did. No matter what you decide, I don’t want to lose you, so don’t run away. Please?”

If his voice was any less genuine, any less pleading, Goro might joke about his proficiency at running from his problems, but that feels so out of place here. All he does is nod.

“Thanks. Now then.” Ren wanders away and around a corner for a few moments, returning with a plastic tupperware in a plastic bag. “Your promised curry.”

Even though Ren said it was on the house, that isn’t Goro’s style. He reaches into his biking tights to grab his wallet and.. Ah. “Well I guess it's good that you said this is on the house, because I definitely don’t have my wallet.”

Ren laughs a bit. “I’m glad that I was able to save you an awkward encounter then. Most places prefer when you pay.”

As Goro biked home, his thoughts were erratic and loud, but it felt exciting rather than scary. He still didn’t feel ready to give a final answer, but Ren’s feelings didn’t rub against his chest in a grating way anymore, and that alone was enough relief for now.

**_Friday, April 9th_ **

Every person, young and old can only have so much patience. That said, Ren Amamiya’s resolve might be more than what is dictated by normal human limits.

Goro had an answer. 

Goro knew what his response to Ren’s more-than-implied confession was, but he did not know how to bring the topic up. So he chose not to. He would wait until Ren reminded him or brought it up one way or another.

There was only one flaw there: he never did. 

Over a month had passed and Goro was still sitting on the affirmative without any plans to share said answer unprompted. Now _he_ was growing impatient. It had just recently occurred to him that Ren might not bring it up. The other man had been very clear about how painful the constant rejections had been, and Goro had asked for time. 

A sigh pushes its way out of his lungs as the lights go down once again on a full auditorium. The strong, unbearably patient man next to him looks over, with mild concern.

As a pre-recorded voice tells the audience to silence their phones and not use flash photography, Ren leans over (very much into Goro’s personal bubble) and whispers “Everything alright?” 

The heat from his breath flutters against Goro’s exposed ear, the other shielded by the bulky headset. In the interest of not squeaking or facilitating any embarrassing vocal phenomena, he simply nods, turning slightly to make eye contact with his co-director.

“Alright Mr.Akechi, we have places.” Naoto’s voice comes into his ear quietly.

With that affirmation, Goro cues the orchestra to finish their tuning in the pit before turning his mic on briefly “Alright, you know what to do.”

The curtains slide open perfectly, it's satisfying in a way he can’t describe, and Goro gives thanks that Naoto will be on their crew for one more year. 

The notes break the suspenseful silence and Goro only notices then that he grabbed Ren’s hand and was squeezing the life out of it. He drops it like a hot potato before mouthing ‘sorry’ in his direction. 

Ren looks happily dazed as he dismisses Goro’s apology with a wave of his hand.

His attention is quickly pulled back to center stage as the singing begins and for once, they are actually harmonizing. My god he could cry. 

It's almost unfair how few performances they put on after putting months of love and tender care into a show, especially since they fly by so quickly. Goro is enraptured and filled to the brim with pride in each and every cast member. 

He has to focus on the stage. He lets them draw him in without delay. If Goro were to live in the moment for too long, he might pay attention to the close, dark proximity he is sharing with Ren who he can sense watching him. 

That is a dangerous and distracting (albeit tempting) option. 

When the curtains close once more, Goro has to face his demons (or just the one sexy, patient, and kind demon). Looking to his side, he spots Ren, gazing at him with a lot of repressed emotion, in a way he hadn’t seen in almost a month. Goro was eternally grateful that Ren had continued to be relentlessly professional amidst his very safe-for-work flirtation. 

Sitting in a small dark box for a few hours seemed to affect him quite a bit.

In a rush of impatience, Goro opens his mouth to finally address the elephant in the very close quarters. A soft blush settles on his cheeks and in the dim house lights, he’s sure Ren can tell.

“Mr. Akechi!” A soft but urgent voice jolts his attention to the quickly opening door. “Marie spilled foundation on Rise’s costume.” Naoto says, either not noticing or ignoring any tension in the room. “I can get it out, but I need someone to call Rise down, Mitsuru is trying, but you know how anxious she can be.” Oh does he ever.

“Right. Lead the way.” Goro stands up and begins to follow. “We’ll talk later.” He shoots at Ren, looking over his shoulder as he leaves. 

All he sees is fondness and a nod. 

They don’t talk until much later.

**_Saturday, April 24th_ **

“This is ridiculous.” 

Goro is once again seated on the cute chaise lounge in Ann’s house as she works her magic. “Oh hush you.” She says as she grips his chin, firmly for only two fingers. Goro resigned himself to this fate before he even arrived, but the sentiment remains.

He holds deathly still as she curls his lashes with familiar but still frightening tools and applies mascara. “I just wanted you to look nice thats all.” She coos.

“I always look good, Ann.” Goro isn’t dumb, he wasn’t born yesterday, he knows thats _not all_. But he’s not opposed, per say, so he simply rolls his eyes and lets her continue. 

He has no problem wearing makeup, and honestly he looks fucking incredible when he does, but thats not the reason he’s being difficult. Ann is getting too excited about Prom night for a chaperone, and that's not something that even she could argue. 

As much as he protests, Goro is secretly very grateful, and Ann probably knows this, she can read him better than anyone. Which is probably why she knows he needs as much baseless confidence as possible tonight. (Either that or he drunkenly told her about Ren’s confession and his subsequent need and inability to answer and she can read the room.)

Ann releases her surprisingly strong grip on his chin and steps back, admiring her work. She nods, pleased, and moves away so he can look at himself in the mirror. It’s subtle, but damn she is good. His face was already smooth, but now it's slightly more sculpted, his brows tamed but strong and his lashes long. Goro mirrors her nod of approval. “Not bad”

“Not bad my ass.” She rolls her eyes lovingly. “I’m incredible and you're lucky to have me.” 

No argument there. Goro hopes the smile he gives her communicates that adequately. Verbal communication will never be his strength. 

He let his eyes travel the length of his body reflected back in the mirror, admiring his simple, yet formal attire. A black button up and coordinated slacks were to be expected, but Goro had opted for a tight fitting deep grey waistcoat instead of a suit jacket, letting him roll his sleeves with precision.

“Well as lovely as I look, it's 4:30 in the afternoon so we should probably go pick up Yusuke.” He and his friend group always seem to be the ones roped into chaperoning dances and shit like that. Maybe it's because they are young and hip and relatable, but more likely its because none of them know how to say no.

They all decided to carpool, and then have a mini afterparty at Goro’s apartment afterwards. Hopefully nothing will go up in flames before then. 

Ann grabs the keys to her car (the largest out of all of them, strangely befitting of her) and slings a strappy bag over her shoulder. She heads deeper into her flat to say goodbye to Shiho, returning with her hair slightly messier than before. 

“Lets go.”

*

The theme for prom this year is _Welcome to the Velvet Room,_ and whatever that means is beyond him, but Goro is willing to admit that the decorations are still pretty fun. Yusuke, Ren, and Sumire ran the prom committee together, resulting in a combination of abstract and practical that is almost refreshing, but still slightly unnerving. 

The cavernous room came equipped with gaudy chandeliers which had been wrapped in a semi-transparent blue fabric (that hopefully wasn’t flammable) that cast a cool light across the dimly lit room. Multicolored lights flashed, leaving an oil slick of colors behind closed eyes. 

From the ceiling hung swathes of a heavy, deep blue material with a shiny dark silver glittering all across, creating a slight division of the ballroom. Somehow it helped make the room feel less echoey. 

Upon arrival, Sumire consulted her clipboard religiously, scanning with a single finger before directing both Goro and Ann to the entryway, where they were quickly put on door duty, collecting tickets and ushering students into the Velvet room as it were.

Before turning her attention back to the event (which she needs to do as she is no doubt the organizational backbone), Sumire gives a small smile “You look nice, Goro.”

He can tell Ann was preening without even looking over. “Thanks Sumire, you also look lovely, your dress suits you.” And he means it. She’s donning a simple mid length satin dress in a pale yellow with sleeves cinched at the wrists.

“Thanks!” She gives one last warm smile before returning to business, her skirt flaring as she turns.

“What am I, chopped liver?” Ann whines as she examines her nails, bored from the lack of activity. 

“Do you really need to be told how good you look?” Goro shoots her a look with a raised brow, unconvinced.

A quick, loud laugh barks from her beautiful lips. “I mean absolutely not, but it doesn’t hurt.” She crosses her legs to the side of the table. “I can’t believe I’ve never worn pants to an event like this. I feel so powerful.” 

Ann looks powerful too. In a billowy-sleeved, high collared white top that was tight on her front and tucked into high waisted black slacks that flared and almost grazed the floor when she walked, she looked at home.

“Well if you need any assurance, I can confirm you look enchanting.” Goro says with a wink.

Soon enough the clock struck 7 and a trickle of students began to flow through the door. Ren still is yet to make an appearance and Goro pretends he doesn’t notice. 

He does. 

He pretends he isn’t bothered. 

He is. 

As they arrive Goro poses for pictures with his homeroom and theatre upperclassmen. They make him feel a warmth like no other. The last familiar face to arrive is Mitsuru, who is traffic-stopping as always, but polished to a shine he rarely has the honor of seeing. She offers her ticket and a wave before moving into the ballroom.

Soon Mitsuru will graduate and move on in her lift to bigger and better things, and Goro has no doubt she will continue to glow even brighter.

The bittersweet thought rests thick in his windpipe. Each additional year Goro spends with a class of students, the harder it gets to say goodbye.This year he will watch students he has gotten to know for 3 years walk across that stage in just over a month, basically guaranteeing he will shed at least one tear on graduation day. 

Then it hits him like a freight train. The school year is almost over. 

Much like a watched pot, the minute Goro stopped eagerly counting the remaining days until Ren leaves his homeroom, it boiled over, quickly and without warning. He laughs sadly to himself, that's a bit of a trend with the other teacher, isn’t it. All or nothing. Like his presence in Goro’s life. Like Goro’s feelings for Ren. 

A tidal wave, merciless and all encompassing. 

In his mind he knows that Ren getting his own homeroom won’t really change anything between them, but it's hard to convince his anxiety of the same thing. Besides, there isn’t anything between them yet. 

Another thing that Goro can only blame himself for.

Caring for others isn’t something he makes a habit of. Goodbyes hurt. And people always leave. Goro feels his palms sweat in a way that is both new and old. Familiar to him, but a sensation he hasn’t had the great misfortune of experiencing in almost 10 years. 

Goro bolts upright in his seat when a small, warm hand finds its way onto his shoulder. He turns to see concerned blue eyes. Oceans he has known for nearly a decade, like saltwater she gently buoys him to the surface. Ann moves her other hand to firmly grip his clammy palm. 

“Are you okay? I know that face, Goro.” Ann keeps her voice low. He manages a nod and half of a smile. 

How could he forget? Not everyone leaves. 

The day Ann transferred to his high school, Goro’s life shifted for the better. She showed him friendship in a way he never thought he deserved. It didn’t take long until their hearts were exposed and intertwined. 

Her blond curls bounced on long walks in the summer. 

Mouths stained from popsicles, the hot cement beneath their feet. 

_You deserve better, Goro. Don’t you know that?_

No. He never replied, but she studied his face far more than her textbooks, she knew what he was thinking.

_I know it’s not that simple right now. But next year! You got that scholarship, right?_

Yes. A nod as another silent reply. She pulled him onto a nearby bench.

_You can get out, Goro. Don’t you want to be free? Don’t you want to be happy? Don’t you want to live on your own terms?_

Even then her thinking was revolutionary to him. His family life was bad to say the least, and she had seen the marks it left in his heart and body. 

_I won’t let you get swallowed alive. I won’t let you be alone. I promise._

Ann would offer a pinky in his direction and he would feel tears run down his cheeks. Once their little fingers entwined, they never let go.

_I won’t let him hurt you anymore. I won’t. I-I won’t._

Their faces matched, tear tracks prominent. He knew she knew, of course she did, but if he didn’t say it, Goro would never forgive himself.

_Th-thank you, Ann. I love you so m-much._

Their sobs grew, but Ann kept smiling. She has always been so full of love.

_I love you too, Goro. Let's do this. Together._

Her brace-free smile was wide, teeth white and shiny. All Goro could think then was how strong she was. How brave. How kind. He pulled her into a hug and his shoulders shook as he held him.

It was the first time he trusted someone like that. 

Would he let it be the last?

A loud click rings in his periphery, startling Goro again. His head whips in the direction of the front door where he sees a figure even more blue than usual locking the front doors. Ignoring Yusuke, he turns his attention back to Ann. 

“I’ll be okay.” The _because of you_ went unsaid, but it didn’t feel like a lie. 

She nods and rubs his back slightly. “Okay babe, just let me know if you need anything.”

Goro has no idea what he did to deserve Ann, but she has always been so insistent that love isn’t earned, only given. Maybe it is time he listened to her. The blonde has never failed him. A no-doubt dopey smile grows on his face.

“What?” She asks with a grin.

“I’m just thinking about how right you are.”

“About damn time.”

Yusuke sauntered over to their table. “Good evening you two. I’m sure I don’t need to remind you that the doors will remain locked until 10, unless of course an emergency happens.” They both nod.

“Soooo where does that leave us? Do we need to find miss clipboard?” Ann asks, her hand still holding Goro’s.

“That won’t be necessary. All chaperones are going to be on… chaperoning duty for now. You can enjoy the night, but only a moderate amount, of course.” 

With those instructions Goro rises from his seat, the hours of sitting catching up with him. He groans as he stretches briefly. Ann giggles at him, finally releasing his hand.

“Shall we?” Goro leans over to his best friend, offering his arm.

With a beaming smile, she snakes her arm through the crook of his. “We shall!” 

*

Although the ballroom hasn’t changed since Goro first arrived, the couple hundred students transform it completely. From his eyes, it looks like Prom is going well. Everyone looks happy, most either eating, dancing, or chatting in a corner. 

Goro doesn’t remember much about his junior prom, but he and Ann went to their senior prom together and ‘raised the roof’ as one might say. Of course everyone had asked if they were dating, which was the _most ridiculous_ accusation that could be leveled against either of them. They had always been the picture of gay/lesbian solidarity and laughed every single time.

Ann leaves him to go speak with Ryuji, who is standing way too stoically in the middle of the dancefloor, wearing an ill-fitting suit. 

In the most discrete, subtle, not-obvious way possible, Goro begins to search the room for Ren. 

A whisper loud only due to proximity comes from behind. “Looking for someone?”

Goro jumps diagonally away from the voice. “Jeez, Ren.” His voice is unamused, but any real upset he feels dissolves upon seeing the perpetrator laughing happily. “Scared the shit out of me.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Ren in no way looks repentant, but he does look gorgeous, a thought that only sticks out to Goro because of how natural it feels. His ensemble is largely the same as Goro’s but his vest is deep red and he's wearing a tie of the same color. 

Worst of all (maybe best?), he isn't wearing his glasses. If this had been the first time experiencing those eyes without a barrier, he has no idea what he would do. However he is still in no way equipped to deal with those gunmetal irises.

Goro wants to grab that flimsy piece of crimson fabric around Ren’s neck and pull him in close. He files that desire in his head for later. 

“Wow though.” Ren has finally stopped laughing and looks a bit starstruck. “How do you look even better than usual? I didn’t know that was even possible. Damn.” The reverence in his low voice incite a small shiver.

“You can blame Ann for that.” 

“I think thank is a better word.” 

Goro tucks an errant lock of hair behind his ear. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Please do.”

“You, um. Look nice as well.” The words stick, almost honest, but still an understatement. Goro’s face feels warm and a bit uncomfortable.

The light that the praise ignites in Ren’s face immediately overshadows any side effects of being genuine and nice. “Then it's worth all the effort.”

If he wasn’t blushing before (and he probably was), Goro is most certainly now. How Ren can flirt so naturally and pretend like his words aren’t embarrassing is a mystery. “How can you just say things like that?” 

Ren’s face falls just a bit. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.” He avoids Goro’s gaze, turning his head slightly.

“That's not what I meant.” Goro says, begrudging. Ren perks back up. He doesn’t prompt further, satisfied to wait for the brunette to find his words. “I don’t dislike your flirting, it’s just embarrassing.” 

“So you do agree that we are flirting?” That was apparently all of the encouragement Ren needed to continue being shameless.

It’s Goro’s turn to look away, suddenly finding the floor very interesting, deciding the question is rhetorical. His blush probably answers just as loud as any words.

He hears Ren humming a bit, and looks up to see him watching the rest of the room, giving Goro a bit of a break. Even without the intensity of his gaze, Ren is breathtaking and Goro could kick himself for not realizing sooner how short sighted he has been.

Once again, his hands are clammy, but this time without the burden of intrusive thoughts. Nervous. How long has it been since he felt truly nervous? He has to laugh, and does accidentally. 

Ren looks back at him, a question left unspoken.

“This is so stupid.” Goro can’t stop laughing. 

How did he get to this point? 

Years and years ago he decided to live for himself. But did he? Or did he just project an overconfidence he never believed in? Why did he hesitate now?

Ren has made his emotions painstakingly clear in both his words and actions for months. Why doesn’t Goro trust them? How unfair to both of them.

How ridiculous. Goro laughs because crying would do no good. 

The realization of how bogus the situation is sets a path in motion, and as scary as it is to trust people, to _care_ , it is far too late to not get hurt, so he might as well take a leap. 

Goro finally stops laughing. He probably looks like a man possessed. “So what are your plans after this?” Shock is written all over Ren’s face. 

“Uh.. I mean. I need to help take all this shit down? But nothing after.” Ren glances around at the decorations. 

Goro takes a step forward, positioning his right shoulder in front of Ren’s and speaks quietly into his ear. “You have plans now.” Riding the high of decision, Goro places the tips of his fingers on Ren’s chest and gently pushes away before walking further into the ballroom.

There has always been a flame in Goro’s chest that Ren fans, even at their worst. Now Goro wanted to harness that feeling. Bottle it and carry it close like a talisman. 

After this Ren would be coming to his apartment. Yes-- Yusuke and Ann would also be there, but at least they wouldn't be surrounded by children in stuffy clothing. 

For now he just had to wait. 

*

The party dragged on and even though Ren managed to convince a gaggle of students to help them take the decoration down, they weren’t able to actually leave until almost midnight. Which left plenty of time for Ann to give Goro knowing looks after he let her know Ren would be joining their little party (Ryuji was invited too because Goro has manners of course).

Once everyone was back at his apartment, which was spotless, and in comfortable clothes, which Ryuji and Ren stopped at their house to grab, Goro emptied the contents of his fridge on the kitchen counter. Since he was not one for cooking, this mainly consisted of fancy cheese, and 4 bottles of wine. 

Where the remainder of prom had dragged on, the time Goro spent with his friends flew by. Soon it was very late and everyone was far too intoxicated to drive. This was expected of course, so they unfurled a king size memory foam mattress topper that Goro kept vacuum sealed and in storage and used it as the base of a giant bed. 

Without much discussion, it was decided that Goro and Ann would share his bed and Yusuke, Ren and Ryuji would share the amenities of the makeshift pillowfort. 

As everyone got ready for bed, Goro felt like he was floating, and that sensation didn’t go away. Now curled up next to Ann’s lightly snoring form, he can’t fall asleep.

Around 3am, Goro swings his legs over the side of his bed and retreats to his kitchen, moving softly and quietly. He fills his electric kettle with water and makes a cup of peppermint tea before stepping out onto the deck, wrapped in a blanket. 

Goro lives on the 5th floor, giving him a wide view of the city below. He takes a seat in one of the two small chairs he was able to squeeze onto the narrow balcony and gently sips his tea. The bite of the mint soothes him enough that he doesn’t even jump when the glass door slides open and someone joins him.

“Nice night.” Ren says quietly as he leans against the railing that borders the deck. “Do you mind if I join you?”

Goro gestures to the chair opposite him and Ren happily sits down. The silence is expansive but welcome, being alone but together is refreshing and remarkable. 

“I think I’m ready.” Goro starts. Keeping his voice down.

“For what?”

“To tell you how I feel.” Goro’s eyes still haven’t met Ren's, still are scanning the city below.

“Oh okay. Go on.” Ren’s voice feels smaller than it should be.

“Honestly, for a while I was waiting for you to bring it up. For you to….demand a response from me.” He laughs. “But that was silly. You’ve done nothing if not prove how unwaveringly patient you are.

“I have trouble trusting people, which is probably evident from The Everything about me. I have one person in this world I would trust with my life and no one else.” Goro sighs. “And I thought that was living.

“I wish I had opened my eyes earlier, given you even the slightest benefit of the doubt. Maybe then I would have realized that you set me on fire. Even when I hated you, you made me feel more alive in so many ways.” He turns away from the horizon to face Ren, who is wide eyed and hanging on every word Goro says. 

“All of this to say, I think I’ve had feelings for you for a while, but was unwilling to trust you or trust myself enough to realize it.” Goro gives Ren a tired smile, but he means it.

Ren sits in silence, and Goro understands. If he needed time, Goro could be patient. Ren had earned that much at least. 

It takes a few long moments for the words to sink in, but Ren smiles bigger and brighter than Goro has ever seen. It's crooked and charming and he wants it to be his. God he wants that mouth to be all his.

“That's the best thing I’ve heard all year.” The smile closes, but Ren’s eyes are still alight. “Tell me Goro, can I persuade you to go on a breakfast date with me in a few hours?”

“Bold of you to assume I’ll be awake in a few hours.” Goro teases. “But whenever I join the land of the living I would love to.”

The moment is warm and the floating feeling that has had Goro on pins and needles all night starts to fade. 

He finally feels real. 

This is real. Real.

Ren is still watching him like he’s unearthed a treasure he has no idea how to handle, but Goro isn’t one to be coddled, so he’s willing to guide him a bit.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Goro prompts, as if Ren’s downward glances towards his mouth weren’t enough.

“Fuck... I just really want to kiss you.” The words fall from his mouth so quickly, and Goro has to smirk. 

“I’m not going to stop you.” Ren doesn’t blush, but his pupils dilate and his stare turns hungry.

If Goro wasn’t holding his mug of tea like a lifeline, he would have already grabbed Ren by his collar and dragged him close. But that's not what Ren does. 

Instead he slowly stands up and bends over to cradle Goro’s face with both hands, gently stroking along the brunette’s jaw with his thumb. Ren leans in and Goro’s eyes flutter shut, but his lips land on the brunettes forehead, and then another peck on his nose, and another on each cheek, and by the time Ren tries to give a tender kiss to the side of Goro’s mouth, he's lost patience.

One of Goro’s hands frees itself from the mug and firmly tangles itself in Ren’s thick hair, pulling their mouths together with reckless abandon. He lets Ren pull back and rest their foreheads together, but he doesn’t let go of his neck. 

Goro slowly rises from his seat, placing the very inconvenient cup on the ground, until they are both standing chest to chest. One of Ren’s arms wraps around Goro’s waist, pulling him ever closer and he is grateful that his kissing partner finally got the memo. 

While he’s never _really_ had a serious relationship, Goro is no stranger to kissing. But this is different. It’s electric and new and when their mouths meet again, hungry and seeking, he feels his legs waver slightly. 

As much as he is enjoying himself, Goro doesn’t want to be undone on his deck with all of his friends (hopefully asleep) inside. He’s tired, and the catharsis only amplifies the exhaustion. With one last, more innocent kiss, Goro pulls back and places his forehead on Ren’s shoulder, content to be held. 

“I’m so fucking tired.” He whines, laughing a bit from the situation. 

“Me too.” Ren kisses the top of his head, and Goro melts under the tenderness. “Let's pick this up another time. It's late.”

“Fuck at this point its early.” Goro argues. 

As they untangle themselves and go back inside, their hands are clasped together, and Goro has all but forgotten about his tea.

  
  


**_Friday, May 7th_ **

In a surprising turn of events in Goro’s life, things were going well. His relationship with Ren had been firmly defined, and calling him _his_ _boyfriend_ had an addictive quality. Two weeks passed in the blink of an eye.

He never thought of himself as easy to please, but when Ren invited himself over with the offer to cook dinner, Goro swooned (with some recitence). He was met with great concern when he listed for Ren the contents of his refrigerator, which wasn’t a big surprise. Maybe if his _boyfriend_ made a habit of cooking there, he could justify keeping a well stocked kitchen. 

Never to be deterred, Ren stopped at the grocery store after class got out and when he arrived at Goro’s apartment, he had probably cleared the whole place out. 

“You probably should have just taken multiple trips.” Goro teases as Ren gently drops all the reusable bags on the floor of the living room, completely exhausted by the impromptu weight lifting tourney.

“What do I look like? A coward?” Ren shoots back, breathing too heavily to look smug.

“More like a stringbean.” Ren’s mouth falls open in mock offense.

“Oh yeah? Could a stringbean do this?” Ren charges into the kitchen where Goro is emptying the grocery bags onto the counter and wraps his arms around his unsuspecting waist to lift him up and onto the counter, standing in between his legs. 

“I guess so.” Goro says through his laughter before indulging in a few pleasant kisses. “Is this how the evening will go? Am _I_ what's for dinner?”

“Maybe later.” Ren winks before backing up and resuming grocery unbagging. “For now I need to get any amount of food into your fridge ASAP. It will make me feel better.” 

Goro’s eyes roll. “Not that I don’t appreciate it, but you didn’t need to get so much. I can’t cook. I’m good with a knife, but that's about it.” 

“Yes but I am a great cook, and I’m willing to use my skills for you. And maybe you’ll retain some of it.” Ren taps a finger to the tip of Goro’s nose, earning a disgruntled twitch from the brunette.

“The last thing you want is to encourage me to cook on my own. I will burn the building to the ground.” It’s an exaggeration with some backbone. (Not that he’s ready to disclose the extent of his past failures) Ren obviously thinks it's a joke from his smile. 

“I guess I’ll just have to supervise. Now where do you keep your cutting boards?” 

Goro shows Ren where his cutting boards and meager amount of cooking implements are. He is unimpressed to say the least. 

After some prep Ren turns the stove on for the first time (probably) this year. Goro gets to chopping, which is flawless as always.

“How can you be so impressively competent in literally everything except cooking?” Ren watches in awe.

Goro shrugs but doesn’t slow his pace. “What can I say. It's my fatal flaw.”

“I sure hope it doesn’t come to that.” 

Each time they were alone it struck Goro how easy things felt. Their banter was occasionally teasing, often flirty, but always comfortable. Sure, it was still really early in their relationship, but it was still encouraging and he wanted to feel optimistic. 

Goro was so happy and that was more petrifying than anything he had ever faced. 

Looking on the bright side had never been something he excelled in. There was a constant, nagging sensation telling him that everything would come crashing down around him eventually. 

It was all Goro could do to push those thoughts away and just enjoy Ren before the penny dropped. 

Occasionally he found himself lost in these thoughts, especially in the comfortable silent moments they shared. Cocooned in the numbing, mindless _thunk, thunk_ of his rhythmic chopping. 

The fog lifts when two arms wrap themselves around his stomach. Goro’s knife slows and he leans back ever so slightly into Ren’s embrace. “Be careful. I don’t want to stab you.” The words come out much heavier than intended.

“Your thoughts are so loud, Goro. I don’t know what they are... I just want to make sure you’re alright. You’ve got such a strong brain up there.” Ren kisses Goro’s temple. “Best to use it for good.”

Goro puts the knife down firmly and spins in the embrace to hug Ren back. It's warm and comforting and he never wants to leave. “I’m happy for the first time in so long and...I’m just so fucking scared. Every day I spend like this is just going to make the end hurt more.”

Ren moves his hands to firmly grasp Goro’s shoulder and push him back to look him in the eye. “What do you mean ‘the end’?” Distress is evident in his face.

“I - That came out wrong. I just know that eventually you will realize that I was never worth this effort. I ignore that itch most of the time, but sometimes I just can’t.” Goro looks to the ground, but soon feels Ren’s forehead rest against the top of his head. 

“You really can’t trust me?” It hurts to hear and it sounds like it hurt Ren to say.

“I am trying so hard. I’m communicating, aren’t I?” Goro could feel himself getting worked up, his tone incredulous.

_Just take a breath._

“I’ve only trusted one person in my life. It’s nothing personal, I just don’t know how.” His tongue sits heavy in his mouth. The truth tastes just like a bitter pill, hard to swallow.

Ren moves one arm away from around Goro for just a moment, reaching to stir the pot on the stove, which he had totally forgotten about. “If you don’t mind--who is it?”

Goro grabs the edge of Ren’s shirt and feels like a child. “Ann.” The name is a whisper on his lips.

It feels like Ren sighs with something resembling relief. “And has anything bad happened as a result of that trust?” 

Goro shakes his head. “She saw me hurt too much to betray that, but I was afraid she would leave me for so long. Also it's so different.”

“Is it?” Ren ponders aloud, there is confidence in his tone where there was previously fear. Goro looks up. “I mean of course there are significant differences in your relationship with each of us, but the fact remains that you are important to us and we don’t want to hurt you. Yes, we are dating, but at the core, you are my treasured friend, and that's not going to change.”

Ren is shameless with his words as always, but Goro would be damned to say it isn’t something he appreciates with the change in their dynamic. 

“I… I’ve never had a serious relationship before. This is new territory and when I don’t know what I’m doing I get scared. But I know that wallowing in that fear won't solve anything. I’m going to keep trying, but I might need your help too.”

“Anything, Goro.” Ren says, too quick to doubt.

“You were right. My thoughts were so loud. If you ever see me like that, talk to me, please? I will try to avoid steeping in negative emotions for long, but sometimes that cycle is hard to break.” Goro releases the now wrinkled end of Rens shirt, moving his arms to hook around the other’s neck. 

He was so tired of running. Tired of hiding how he felt. But most of all, tired of hurting Ren. “You make me unfairly happy and I know that relationships are hard so it won’t always be the easiest, but I really want to believe in us.”

There was no filter in Goro’s words. The minute he actually thought about what he was saying he would be thoroughly embarrassed. It seems that is for the best, however, judging from the smile on Ren’s face.

“Please do.” Ren leans in for a gentle peck. “I’ll remind you as much as you need. And I’ll make sure you know you can trust me.” And another. “Because you also make me happy.” And one more. “However I want to be a good cooking mama and not burn the food, so I do need to get back to that.”

“Thank you.” Goro hopes Ren won’t ask for the reason, he couldn't put it in words if he tried.

The goofy smile he gives is a gift Goro wants to unwrap every day of his life. Its tender and safe and full of a stupid amount of affection. “Of course.”

They finished making dinner and it was only lightly scorched, which Goro took the blame for. His concerns hadn’t vanished, and they probably wouldn’t overnight, but he could rest easy in a few facts.

  1. Ren left enough ingredients in the fridge to make another meal in the future.
  2. Goro was willing to eat whatever Ren made forever.



**_Summer_**

Goro’s memories of his high school graduation are hazy and fading quickly, overshadowed immediately by higher education. What he does recall is being squished like a sardine in a poorly ventilated gymnasium, and not having his parents in attendance (The latter of which was a raw and aching blessing). 

There was no reason for him to feel attached or emotional, he had one friend, and she was coming with him. Tearful goodbyes all around him made him roll his eyes-- Little did he know that ten years later he would be blubbering like a baby as his own student’s accepted their diplomas. 

Okay, maybe blubbering was an exaggeration, but his eyes felt red and wet, which was approximately 10 times the amount of emotion Goro usually showed. The thought of having to see his homeroom off next year was a cross he was not ready to bear, but time stopped for no one. 

Sitting on either side of him were Ren, smiling and occasionally reaching over to (not so) subtly comfort his boyfriend, and Ann, who was in far worse shape, and monopolizing a tissue box. These were her kids. 

Goro allowed himself one tear, falling as Mitsuru floated across the stage, grace incarnate.

*

It had been an odd few weeks, to be sure. Between the countdown to summer on his whiteboard, the staggered finals schedule for seniors, and the realization that Ren wouldn’t be predictably by his side every morning for homeroom. 

The third revelation wasn’t as hard-hitting as Goro feared, Ren had made it unmistakably clear that he would not be gotten rid of so easily. Stars in his eyes as he promised to bring coffee and stare longingly at his boyfriend every morning, even if he had to sprint back down the hall to his own room.

Goro just shook his head fondly, not to discourage or shame. Ren was always surprising him. From the first day they met. A scorching August day when he had turned to see an unfamiliar figure in the hall, gaping absently at him only to bolt down the hall. 

The difference a few months made was truly laughable. Goro chose to laugh at his past ignorance and general dickish-ness. At first it was because thinking too hard about it flared his self hatred, regrets tight in his gut. Ren noticed the residue of these emotions in their conversations and made it totally clear that he had long since forgiven him. 

It was odd, having someone so willing to put the past behind them. Goro was so used to stewing and holding grudges that Ren gave him whiplash.

A fresh perspective and coffee weren’t the only things that Ren gave him. He was stable (with no small effort), honest, and somehow had efficiently broken down Goro’s labyrinth of defenses. 

Stubborn, persistent, patient, and kind-- Goro never stood a chance. 

*

“Goro I’m dying.” Ren complains with a flushed face, breathing heavily. 

Merciless and unimpressed, Goro shakes his head. “How can you have a body like that without any endurance?” 

Absolutely infuriating. Not only does he have naturally flawless skin (“soap and water” was Ren’s answer when Goro asked about his skincare routine) and perfect vision, he has a teenager's metabolism almost a decade after the label stopped applying. 

At least he has this over Ren. 

“I’m sorry that I’m so hot without trying.” Ren smiles, his tone lacking any remorse. “If you keep working me like this, we’ll get to find out what I’m like when I _do_ try.” 

“Yeah yeah yeah. Get your ass up here.” Goro projects, looking down at his boyfriend. The petulant look Ren shoots back makes Goro roll his eyes. “A little bouldering never killed anyone.”

“I am sure that is a factually inaccurate sentence.” Ren straps himself into the climbing rig, and evaluates the rock wall in front of him. Between climbing, biking and hiking, Goro is wearing this poor, unathletic man out. 

Like everything else he does, Ren picks up these things way more quickly than Goro would like, but who would he be if he didn’t love a challenge? “Less talking, more climbing!” They both continue their ascent, a few yards between them. 

Goro locks his belay once he reaches the top of the artificial stone. Willing to swing in the uncomfortable belt while he waits. He sees Ren look up, scoff, and find a new source of energy within himself. Years of practice have taught Goro that technique is more important than brute strength when it comes to climbing, but he sure enjoys watching the muscles in Ren’s arms flex, so he’ll save that tidbit.

An undisclosed amount of time later, Ren joins him at the top, bowing to Goro’s mocking applause. “I did it.” A proud, small smile pops Ren’s cheeks out. (And shit it's so adorable that the brunette is burning up inside, but he won’t give his boyfriend the satisfaction.)

His red eyes trace the drops of sweat clinging to Ren’s (frustratingly) smooth skin, craving salt. To keep his hair out of his eyes, Ren caged his locks with a bright pink headband, and ditched his glasses. He is dangerously attractive like this, if a little damp. 

With a quick shake of his head back to reality, Goro decides it's time to descend. He can’t smooch his boyfriend like this, and that's criminal.

Back on the ground, Goro finally releases himself from the ropes and straps securing his legs with expert hands. Ren fumbles a bit, but frees himself with little struggle. They shower, change and leave the gym, hand in hand.

This is how they have spent the last month and a half, nearing the midpoint of summer break. As much as Goro had braced himself for conflict and heartbreak,the worst hardship they had faced was Costco no longer selling their favorite potstickers. He isn’t naive, he knows that won’t always be the case, but Goro will be damned if he isn’t going to fight for Ren.

“What do you want for dinner?” Ren asks, swinging their arms like a rambunctious toddler.

“Something new…” Goro mentally flips through his newest luxury, homemade recipes. “Want me to cook for you?” He teases.

Ren’s face drops, he recently had the honor (or horror) of seeing firsthand how dangerous Goro was with any heatsource in the kitchen. “Thanks for offering, but I’d actually like to eat tonight.”

“To each their own.” They share a small laugh. “We can look at some recipes once we get back to my place. I have some ideas for _our_ productions next year.”

The corner of Ren’s eyes crinkle with joy at the implication. “Oh do tell.” He pulls back on Goro’s arm, throwing the other man off balance and very directly into his waiting arms before planting a kiss on his cheek. 

Their partnership is blissful yet provocative. Of course they are still in the warm glow of their honeymoon phase, but Goro believes two things more firmly than he is willing to admit.

  1. Ren is just as happy with him as he is with Ren.
  2. This feeling might just last. 



**Several Months Ago,**

_**Monday, August 10th** _

It isn’t the first time Ren started a new job, but this time, he is eager to stay; recent trials had beaten into him the rarity of familiar, understanding faces. He will never stop being grateful for Haru and her generosity. 

The dust dancing through the stale air swirls in the sunlight, tempting the new teacher down the deserted hall, away from his classroom. Aware of the pitter-patter of his shoes on freshly waxed tiles, Ren moves delicately through the sunbeams. He hasn’t seen anyone besides Haru and Futaba this morning, and this hallway is empty and silent, but full of slumbering potential.

Meeting new people has never been a major concern for Ren, if he smiles and laughs when he should, people flutter towards him naturally. It's no way to make meaningful relationships, but he’s always been more than happy to just listen.

Freshmen orientation is in a week.

He feels the same as he did back then: stomach knotted, nerves on fire, but in a way that isn’t unpleasant. 

“Shit.” A voice echoes from a room down the hallway paired with a small clatter. Guess he isn’t as alone as he thought. Slowly, gingerly, Ren makes his way towards the source of the disturbance, pausing momentarily when he hears a gentle, melodic humming. 

Ren didn’t know he had expectations for the owner of that resonating timbre until they were blown clean out of the water. The back of a head of hazelnut hair looks like spun gold in the bright mid-morning sun, a halo beading off the flyaway strands. The greeting he had practiced in the mirror that morning slips through his fingers like water. 

A breath he didn’t know he was holding escapes his lungs when the presumed teacher turns, accosting Ren with a profile view. The sharp hills and carved valleys in his face are so inviting, tearing his eyes away now is an impossibility. The man standing in the classroom can’t be much older than him, Ren supposes, and about the same height, but it's hard to tell from a few yards away. 

The ethereal being’s posture speaks volumes-- young but poised, open shoulders and folded arms. 

His clothing spoke a different language, a short sleeve button down with a loosened tie and dark pants that hugged all the right angles. It contrasted his youthful air, but he looked comfortable, maybe he grew up too quickly.

As he stands in the hallway, Ren is just a bug about to be consumed by a venus flytrap. Merciless yet graceful. 

If he didn’t walk away now, he’d be bewitched for life. 

Maybe longer.

Temptation had never been so beautiful, the siren's song still spilling sweetly from his slightly parted lips. Ren feels himself choking on nothing when two rusted eyes meet his, the melody abruptly ending. Eyes narrow like sharpening a dagger, and Ren is cut open with a hypnotic sneer laced with unfounded revulsion. 

Ren was prey. Ren was untrustworthy. Ren was already a threat and he had done nothing.

In a moment, the tables had been flipped on him so quickly his heart broke with whiplash. He had to look away. It hurt.

Fight or flight kicks in as he compulsively twirls his black curls. Grey eyes meet red and Ren vanishes in the direction he came, but not without a quick glance to the nameplate.

Back in his own room, the door shut behind him, reality politely knocks before rushing in like a wave pool. There's a reason those are such lethal attractions. A current pulls him under as he considers the only bounty he reaped.

“Goro Akechi...” The words taste sinful and electric on his tongue as he whispers to no one. 

If he had any self awareness or self preservation, Ren might have recognized that he was a glutton for punishment. Luckily, he is and always has been a fool. Steeling himself in his desk chair briefly, his hands clap against his cheeks before he rises again.

Ren had already been swallowed whole. It was too late. 

He might as well be an opportunist about it.

He isn’t awake as he floats up the staircase, and barely aware of his clenched fist rapping against solid wood.

When a tender, flitting voice invites him to enter, Ren knows that stepping into that office is placing one foot in the grave, holding a nail gun to his own coffin, a nice hole 6 feet under ready and waiting. 

It’s sink or swim now. 

“Haru, about my homeroom assignment...”


End file.
